Josiah Papaya

2009-12-03T17:48:00.001-08:00

When I was a child, I loved to take pictures. More specifically, pictures of cats. I remember right before my 11th birthday, I saved up and bought a disposable camera. Then I grabbed my best friend and searched the ghetto neighborhood for cats. There were many of them; at least two dozen. Eventually, I got the pictures developed and, on my birthday, I put them together in a scrapbook with plenty of stickers and glitter glue.
I did other things with disposable cameras. Earlier that year, my friend and I went to six-flags and wasted most of my film up in the ferris wheel.

2009-12-03T17:47:00.003-08:00

When I lived in Guatemala, there were days when our running water dried up. Though we had a water tank, we often took buckets to the river about a mile away, because there was no telling when it would come back. The path to the river used to cut through a pine forest, before they all died away. Now it just wound over a field of overgrown weeds, until it came under the green lush of the jungle surrounding the river. It was on one of these trips that I found a cluster of lemongrass. I promptly tore off some leaves, and when we were done at the river, I took them home and made my first few cups of lemongrass tea.

KenzieKenzie

2009-12-03T17:47:00.001-08:00

freckles & blue eyes

she smiles, then she laughs & her cheeks turn red.

Every Tuesday

we’d meet in Drama.

I was a Jew boy,

and she, a Christian;

talking of rivers

and of hunting geese…

always about food.

I’d throw chocolate

under people’s shoes,

while she stole grapes

from Peter’s vineyard.

2009-12-03T17:44:00.001-08:00

I don't use Blogger much anymore. I don't think anyone does, once they discover other, better blogging sites.

The one I'm using mostly is Tumblr.

Find me at

http://www.josiahpapaya.tumblr.com

http://www.papayafotografias.tumblr.com

http://www.papayamilkshake.tumblr.com

Saturday night was a difficult one for me. I felt like a failure at the start of the evening, and during the meeting I refused to stand up and receive prayer because of my pride. Then, feeling even dirtier than usual, I went to put on an usher's vest.

Earlier that night I’d watched this guy worship. A few minutes later, he was keeled over, groaning, with fluids dripping from his mouth to the floor. Then, while I ushered, he went up on stage, fully recovered and smiling. He shared his testimony, and I could feel the anger build up inside. I was already tired, and it was a struggle to stay through the night. Everything inside me wanted to grab my bag and leave, to do anything to take my mind off of my problems. My issues. I couldn’t do that again, not after confessing to my core leaders so many times. So I stayed. I prayed for people, helped put back chairs, and got on a shuttle, only to see a lady who was waiting in line. I let her have my seat, and waited for the next shuttle. I looked up at the sky and the moon; cold lights on a cold night. I thought of David, and of his meditations on the greatness of God. I figured, if God is omnipotent, than it’s just as easy for Him to make a moon as it is for Him to make me. Even so, aren’t humans much more complicated? God must care much more about the inner workings of my heart and mind than that bulky ball in the sky. Then it came back to me; the feeling that I was a toy. A little body, so incomprehensible to anyone but God, so prone to darkness would be an interesting experiment. Would I end up with Him, or would I be just another Judas? I felt like He was playing Russian roulette with my soul when He pulled my soul out of inexistence, and assigned me to this life to see if I’ll choose Him, again, and again, and again. Either way, He would suffer no loss, or so it seemed.

I didn’t mean to accuse Him, but nothing made sense, and I desperately wanted an answer. I paced, waiting for the drivers to quit chatting and take me home. Josh called me.

“Hello?”

“Hey. Where are you?” He asked.

It had been a long night; was he drilling me on why I was late? “Why?”

He paused. “Why don’t you just answer my question?”

Here we go again… “Yeah, but why are you asking?”

He kept on. “I don’t think it’s nice for you to not answer my question.”

“But why do you want to know?”

“Because I’m alone and no one is here.”

“Oh.”

“Why don’t you answer my question?”

“I’m in the parking lot at FSM.”

“Oh, you’re waiting for a shuttle?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, bye,”

“Bye.” I should have been more humble. Bowed to his fancy. He wasn’t being malicious, and I guess I’d earned his trust if he felt like he could call me when he was lonely.

Sunday wasn’t much better.

Until I sat a few rows in front of the prayer room stage and opened my journal. There were two pictures of Michaela. I smiled, thinking of when they were taken. One was at Monica’s house; she was on a swing, looking at me with that familiar smile. That was a happy day. The other was on my 18^th birthday, at Tribble Mill Park. The more I looked at them, the more a tornado built up in my stomach. I caught my breath as it traveled up, through my chest, to the back of my head. I laughed silently until my eyes watered. This is love. I stayed in my reverie until I was brought back by the fact that she doesn’t deserve this. Not me, with my rotten nature pulling me down, away from the reality she should have. I love her, but is this same heart, the one that speeds when I think of her, also the one stained with filth? Why does the man curse his brother, then turn around and bless God? Can I ever truly love someone with this split heart of stone? I was back in the dirt. I grabbed my journal and wrote my worries. I wrote of my intense longing to prove myself to someone older than me. I listed all of the things I could do, all the ways I could pretend that I had changed during these six months. And then I ended it with the obvious. Soon the façade would wear off, and anyone with discernment would see that I had never changed. That I was still the same Josiah, and that the possibility of my character improving was nothing more than a bad joke.

It was with this baggage that I walked into a side room for my E12 meeting. John was just about to pass out some manuscripts when Ron walked in. He asked some of us how we were doing. When he got to me, I said that I didn’t want to share. I couldn’t be honest, and if I tried, I would break down. He said he would respect that. Then, after a period of “waiting on the Lord”, John said that for the rest of our E12, we would share any words we felt for each other. I knew that if God could see the state of my emotions, He had to have something to say. So, I was the first to receive a word. Tyler said that God really wanted me to know that He wants to set me free. He wants to see me dance, free from shackles. Then John added something else that I can’t remember. Later, Izzy told me that God wants to be my best friend. That it won’t look like my reading twenty chapters every day (ironic, since I was thirty-five chapters behind), but that if I accepted Him, He would work it out. And that He’s for me, not against me. Finally, Andrew shared what He was experiencing. He looked overwhelmed. He said that the phrase “My eyes are on you” kept running through His mind, and he started to cry. He said God says not to give up, not to give up and that I’m so close.

There it was, a note from God to help me through it all, though I still lacked strength.

While walking home, I started to share my recent struggles with Andrew. I wouldn’t have if He hadn’t done what he did, but now I felt like I could. We talked until three o’clock. I told him everything, of my failures, of my fears, dreams and questions about God. He encouraged me, and now I feel like I’m back on track again. The days are still hard, but I have hope. And I think that’s just what God wants. He’s said it before, through several different people. He says to not lose hope, and to keep saying yes.
Then I realized that He’s not the one breathing terror down my back every morning.

That night Andrew shared more of what he had felt. He said the feeling was like butterflies in his stomach; that they made him catch his breath, and that he was so overwhelmed with emotion and love for me because God had given him a token of what He feels for me.

I knew exactly what he was talking about; I’d felt that same feeling when I sat in the prayer room, my journal open on my lap.

A man just handed me a little piece of paper with Ps 34:17-19 and SS 2:6 written on it. It says, “The Lord holds you w/2 hands. Its safe”

God tells me these things over and over again, but I think I’m actually starting to understand.

Powder-Puff

2009-11-02T04:31:00.001-08:00

I’m sitting at a table in the FSM Student Lounge, with two Reese’s Cups and a coffee. The coffee I bought for a dollar from a machine in the corner of the room. It froths nearly to the rim of a paper cup with “Texas Hold-Em” stamped across it. I might have picked a healthier beverage. Sometimes I have to make a sacrifice for the better good. And that better good is that I need some rest. How will I get that rest? Well, by getting a cold. And everyone knows sugar lowers the immune system.
Actually, that’s not the real reason why I bought the coffee, but it makes sense now that I think about it. There was a girl sitting in the exact spot I was hoping for, and I was walking around the lounge, figuring out a decent alternative. I bought the coffee so as to be inconspicuous. She just left and another woman just came in and hovered over her spot until she had collected her belongings and left. If you want a spot here at IHOP KC, sometimes you’ve got to be brutal. Many times I’ve made my way towards an open table, only to be cut off by another student, running towards my quarry. Just the other day I was sitting behind a row of tables, waiting for one to open up. Out of the corner of my eye I see a woman about to leave, but before I could react, a man flashed in front of me and dropped his bag on her table. About half an hour later, the table directly in front of me, not three feet away, was soon to be vacant. I grabbed my bag strap and waited casually, so as to not be obvious, though I was eager to finally have a surface to study on. Just like before, only it seemed much faster, a woman appears to my left and places her book on the table. I was distraught. From then on, I’ve always left service early in order to save my favorite table, off the side of the prayer room, hidden from prying eyes and away from the blare of the speakers.

Almost every intern has walked up to me today and asked me where I was last night. Some were rude, angry because they lost twenty minutes of their life looking for me in Topica. Others were friendlier. Last night I talked to Ron over the phone, and he was upset about it because they had no idea where I was. He said we would talk later. Later came and I saw him in the hallway. “Did you want to talk?” I asked, walking towards to food line. “At some point, but not now.” He answered, just as I had expected.

The girls had their Powder-Puff Football game this morning. I stood at the sidelines, either shifting to drier spots because of my freezing toes, daydreaming of playing croquet and hibernating in Barnes & Nobles, or explaining what happened to dozens of interns. Honestly, if they hadn’t taken attendance, I wouldn’t have been missed.

Topica

2009-10-31T07:18:00.001-07:00

Topica is on my schedule. We’re all going there to keep the fire burning late into the night as one big happy family. It’ll be great; we’ll turn the music up loud, take pictures, tell stories, and best of all, make memories with each other that’ll last a lifetime.

Or they will, at least. There wasn’t room in the bus or two shuttles for me after I gave up my seat to Ryan, since he needed room because of his ankle surgery.

I couldn’t stand feeling like a fat useless blob any longer. It was two hours until we had to leave, so I changed into shorts and a short sleeved t-shirt and ran outside. A lady stopped and asked if I needed a ride. “No thanks, I’m not going anywhere.” I answered. She was inside her warm van but her cheeks were flushed. I’m not crazy, I promise. I’m young. There’s a difference.
It was incredible. The whole neighborhood seemed alien because of the change of season. All I could hear was the rush of the wind and the scraping of the dry leaves against the asphalt. It was an adventure, to be sure. I discovered a hidden trail at Shiloh that was only visible because of the baring of bushes. I threw stones into the lake and blew birdlike shrieks into the air with a perfect blade of grass. My suspicions of possible weight gain were confirmed when I stepped onto a large stone slab and it rocked under me. I’m positive that I had an epiphany on the nature of God while I stood out there in the frosty wind, looking out over the pond at what remained of the gardens. “This is what God is like.” I said to myself. If ink on thin pages can tell me about Him, how much more can His living creation, imbued with vivid color and intricate designs? Branches are straight, but not the ones I found. They were swirly, like fireworks on the fourth of July. And I gasped when I saw these little furry, bright yellow trees. I was walking through the grass and a wave of leaves flew up and crested into my face. He was there, I knew it.
The smell of wet leaves reminded me so much of the pecans I used to eat in Newberry. They were strewn across the ground every autumn, and we’d fill dozens of bags with them.

Taylor just came in. “When are you guys leaving?” He hesitates. “Or did they already leave?”
He wanted to go, but he hadn’t been sure of the time. Sad story. Now he’s sitting behind me, with a bag of frozen gummy bears on his lap. There’s silence in the room, besides my music and the crackle of his bag. Awwwwkward.

Perfect snack.

2009-10-27T08:07:00.001-07:00

D’Arcy called me on Thursday. It was my evening off, so I was in the café when she did. I could hear Duncan squealing in delight whenever I spoke. It’s because he loves me so much that Josiah is his third favorite word. Hannah told me this, as she’s the only one who can interpret what he says. Mom is good at guessing, but no one can be absolutely sure, except for Hannah.
I bought a coffee Americano and a white chocolate cookie with Macadamia nuts. It made my day.
And it was so cold on Friday, but we had some soup that made everything better.
I helped direct traffic that night before EGS, and I didn’t expect such a miraculous sunset. Just when I thought it was over, and the streak of color was fading into the horizon lined with bare trees, it started to change. The roofs of buildings to the East glowed in a peach color. A few minutes went by and I directed a few cars, then I noticed the trees. Their turning leaves were splattered with paint, the same color of peach. Then, the wave of color receded until only a quarter of the sky displayed the sun’s brilliant farewell. The hue gained intensity and the sky blushed a stunning pink. Birds spun overhead. They flew in a formation that changed as they turned. It was as if they were giving a performance, inspired by the setting sun. I saw them shape, with the help of my active imagination, a dragonfly. Then a beta fish, and a dove with outstretched wings. Again the color to the West changed; this time to a radiant gold, like the bashful girl in the sky gave one last beautiful smile, and then whirled around with a toss of her hair that flared like the burning sands of the desert, and disappeared to shine on other lands.
After the service that night, a group of us led an outreach to the haunted houses in downtown KC, just to talk to the people who were waiting in lines about eternity.
“It’s so beautiful.” Raychel felt alive, driving us through the thousands of Kansas City lights at 10:00 pm.
“Why don’t we ever go out?” She asked.
“Because we have curfew.” answered one of the girls sitting in the back.
The night went well; some were receptive and some were not. Low, menacing notes of a pipe organ blared loudly into the night and stirred the spirits of those waiting for the dark excitement lurking inside the tall brick buildings. They were expectant for that of another realm, so we came to take advantage of that openness and bring in the light of the truth, that they would know of His great love and that He has better things in store for all who believe.

Chinese journal

2009-10-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

David had planned for us guys to have a bonfire at Shiloh tonight. I was excited; I love the smoky warmth of bonfires, and I love roasting marshmallows and hotdogs. To my dismay, the plans were cancelled, due to the rainy weather. It’s pouring. Somebody needs to invent waterproof bonfires already.
Addrienne and Hannah left on Monday morning, one the conference had ended. Hazen awaited his wife in Georgia, since he just got back from a Guatemala missions trip. They offered to deliver a note to my family the night before they left. I wrote one really quick, because I had an E12 group meeting. I appreciated their offer- I recently gave my last stamp to Chad so he could write his beloved girlfriend. Our E12 group went to Buffalo Wild Wings, and I had spicy garlic traditional wings.
I signed up for prophecy rooms last night, just for fun. And, though the people ministering were definitely prophetically gifted, it wasn’t so much fun.
That night, after STU, Ron had all the guys stay. He rebuked us, or at least everyone who had participated, for being overly physical. Not the majority.
An Asian lady is sitting beside me, writing in her journal. I make it a habit to never read someone’s writings (how rude!), but I did glance over, and I noticed that the pages were covered with what initially looked like a long series of numbers. Since I wasn’t intruding if she had already encrypted all of it anyway, I looked again. It was Chinese! Of course! The only part I recognized was a little “2009” at the corner of a page. This is how I knew it was a journal, you see. With all of these Chinese and Korean people at IHOP, I only have one Japanese friend.

Louisville Cider Mill

2009-10-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

The noise from the drums and electric guitar died down at the close of the song. Caleb started playing a wistful melody on the piano. The drastic change brought a confused response from the crowd. Some started to clap; I was sure they would throw off the drummer’s rhythm. Cory might have suspected the same. “Go ahead, lift it up!” h shouted. The whole auditorium erupted. The melody was lost in the uproar. Joella sat a few rows ahead of me. She smiled at the people jumping and flailing with the music and stuck a finger in the hole in her converse, shaking her head. The electric guitar climbed until the sound tore through my eardrums and beat on my skill. Next time I’ll remember to bring some earplugs.

I laughed today, with the first unfabricated feelings of happiness since, well, a long time. It was because I remembered something God whispered to me yesterday. I didn’t hear His audible voice. I was on my computer, in the cafeteria, and Noah Riley walked in. He asked me if I could look something up for him.
“What?” I asked.
“Look up ‘osteoporosis’.” He put his bag down on the table. I looked over, excited. Noah is an intelligent man, and usually I’m the one asking him questions, but for once I knew something he didn’t.
“Osteoporosis is the abnormal thinning of the skeleton”, I answered.
Noah hadn’t known that I’d spent the last few days pouring over a Medical Terminology textbook, but God did. I had wondered if it was doing me any good at all, and I needed some encouragement. That was God’s way of saying, “I see you, son. I put that tenacity in your heart, and I love what you’re doing.”

The Louisville Cider Farm was a wonderfully festive place to visit. I got a white mocha, paid for my ticket, then carpooled there with Micah, Chad, Gabe and Paden. I’d never been to a pumpkin patch before; at least, I don’t remember doing so. There were pumpkins everywhere! I’d imagined neat rows of them, like the ones I saw when I used to go strawberry picking. No, they were scattered all over the ground. Some were elongated and bulbous, some were bulging, with green speckles across their sides, and some were smaller, shaped into perfect orange circles, with evenly spaced grooves running from top to bottom. There were goats there too. And hayrides, only the trailer carts looked like they were filled with too many children and not enough hay.
Then, a group of us ventured into the corn maze. I followed the trails by whim, sometimes leaving them entirely. I scoffed at the map posted in the middle of the maze, like any true adventurer would have.
I couldn’t help remembering the story McKenzie told me last year, about how she got kicked out of a corn maze for wearing a crazy pink costume. We were saved the trouble; Ron said we couldn’t wear costumes.
I waited in a long line to buy a cup of fresh spiced cider, and it was worth the wait. I watched a group of interns gather in front of two men who were dressed in clothing from the 1800’s, one playing a banjo, and the other a fiddle. The interns started dancing to their music, and I stayed at the side, taking pictures and sipping my cider.

Early this morning.

2009-10-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

There’s music blaring from the kitchen. When I came in at 7:00, it was some kind of 90’s RAVE. Now it’s gospel.
I lied when I committed to never ditch again. I ditched twice this week. Once on Thursday night, when I’d forgotten my earplugs and the worship was LOUD, and again yesterday, for the same reason. So, I felt like showering, and I was so lonely that I just left.
Frank is wandering around the kitchen now in his blue-striped pajamas, getting his breakfast. His beard curls around his Italian face, and another pillow of curls rests on his head. I’ve been watching him for a minute now, and he’s only noticed me once. A smile plays at the corners of his mouth. He’s eating his cereal, in a little gap between all of the chairs stacked up on the table.
That black man just read my thoughts. “You tryin’ to listen to somethin’?” He asked when I look over and smile in his direction. “No, I was just smiling.” I answered stupidly. What I meant was, “Yes, I want to, but your loud stereo is beating my little speakers to a pulp, and now I’m just smiling, trying to be happy anyways and write in my journal.” That’s a big difference, I know. He deserves the difference, for washing all of the cafeteria dishes. I’m gonna go give him my cereal bowl. I posted a bulletin on MySpace. “Official stereotype: BLACK PEOPLE CAN SING. like fire. but they need more black in their blood. IF I HEAR ANOTHER MUSHY SOUL-FILLED SONG I’M GONNA SCREAM.” Well, I didn’t scream. I might disturb Frank, and I definitely wouldn’t want to do that. He got up for more cereal.
We’re all going to a cider mill and a corn maze today. It’ll be an adventure; I can’t wait.
THANK GOD my brother is healthy. He took some tests two days ago, and the results were negative.
I had a moment yesterday. I was in a shuttle, and there were bright orange and yellow trees along the road. Their colors blurred as we drove past, and I was struck with the contrast between their vibrance and the low, earthy tones of the forest about a mile away, below the minute-maid glowing sky. Fall is my favorite season, and October is my favorite month of the year.

Bad breath

2009-10-13T09:38:00.000-07:00

I raced to the cafeteria this morning, after waking up only fifteen minutes before breakfast time was over. Then I went back to my apartment, got dressed for the day, did some laundry and went to the café. I wasn’t enjoying the atmosphere, because there were one or two dozen noisy middle schoolers surrounding me. The earphones didn’t help much. So, I left, ate lunch, which I wasn’t really hungry for since I’d just eaten breakfast, and went back to practice guitar. Soon I had to leave for Core Class. Jesse and Sarah R. led worship, and then Eddie B. taught on personal revival. When the class was over, I had half an hour before I’d have to be in the prayer room, so I walked back to the den and listened to my audio book.
Unfortunately, a fellow intern sat beside me who had such bad breath that my first two hours in the prayer room were frustrating, because I kept trying to figure out if it could possibly be my breath that smelled so horrible. It was a kind of warm and vomit inducing, almost hazy smell. It would seep into my nostrils just when I had settled myself and was focused on reading. Then, I would spend another five or ten minutes trying to taste my own breath. Surely it couldn’t be mine… I had brushed my teeth twice that very day, as well as sucking on a cough drop (Let me say that it reminded me of mother, who would always offer me one whenever I sat with her, assuring me it wasn’t because I had bad breath) right before going into the prayer room. When I realized that there was a connection between when I smelled the overbearing stench, and when the guy next to me opened his mouth to pray, I grabbed my bag and found another seat. How strange that yesterday, that very same thing happened to me, only with a different intern. After trying desperately to gauge my breath, I had moved to the back of the classroom. If only I could buy a personal breathalyzer to save me the trouble. If those guys had tested their breath with it, they would have definitely made it to vulture level.
Even stranger is how God, Who has perfect smell, calls our prayers incense.
Rain poured at dinner time, and the clouds brought darkness earlier than usual. I was getting my computer when D’Arcy called me. I’m so blessed to have such a wonderful mother. She always cheers me up.

Korean>American

2009-10-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

That feeling is aggravating. The one you get when you look at someone’s face, you see their smile- or another familiar expression, and you know you’ve seen it before... Maybe even studied it, but you still can’t place exactly when or where it was that you know them from.

Spiritual Gifts Class was a bust. That’s all I have to say about it. It helped me realize though, that my days are always better when I take some time aside in the morning to just think through my plans and what I want to accomplish, so I don’t just do whatever. I’m not talking about a schedule, those are boring. So, this is what I did the entire time during class, since the Puerto Rican had difficulty with my language and wasn’t conveying his message with any eloquence whatsoever. I could have fallen asleep, if I wasn’t holding a plastic cup of coffee in my hand. Yes, a plastic cup. No, it didn’t melt.
Core Class was much more stimulating. Andrew said it was his favorite so far. It was part two of what we studied yesterday, but with guys and girls -Understanding and Overcoming Temptation. Basically, it was about overcoming the lusts of the flesh i.e. malice, hatred, laziness, immorality and pride. I agreed with everything Ron taught, especially because I have my own experiences to back the stuff up. They were mostly things I’ve learned without anyone teaching me; when I was just trying to figure myself out, like when Paul tells us to “know our members”.
I uploaded some pictures and a video of the Saturday set onto facebook during break. Dinner was southern style chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy and a side of green beans. I wasn’t too thrilled- mostly just thankful, until I bit into the chicken. I was expecting some freezer chicken stuff they had just pulled out and microwaved, but it was actually amazing. I still like Korean food over American, hands down.
I fell asleep several times in the prayer room tonight… Michael Sorge came twice and woke me up. I vaguely remember seeing his face, with his red stubble and a disappointed expression. Well, I doubt he was really disappointed; I am just an intern after all. I don’t feel slighted or condemned. I don’t say that to excuse myself; it’s more of an affirmation of my youth. I’m not looking forward to losing this wonderful 18th year. I say wonderful, because I like the number, not necessarily because this year has been all pansies and candy. Think about it. Unless I live to be 80, this is the last time I can herald my age with “an”. Example- “I’m AN eighteen year-old.”
It’s tragic.

Saturday night

2009-10-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

I lay in bed late into the night on Friday listening to my audio book, and late into the morning the next day. I stayed in bed until I had to get up for lunch, before Core briefing and my set at the JPR. The set went well, though I played inconspicuously with the amazing motif. I ate tacos for dinner, and when to EGS. The service was the second session of Mike’s End Times basics, and I dozed off just like in the first one. Afterwards, I took a shuttle back to my apartment to get earphones. I was waiting for another shuttle to get back, when I saw a couple of ladies pulling n the locked prayer room doors. I rode back with them in their car and gave them directions, since they weren’t from here and they didn’t know the prayer room moves on weekend nights.

Friday night

2009-10-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

Just two months and nine days left until the closing celebration. I’m sitting in the back row of the One Thing intern seating section in FSM. An Asian man wearing an usher’s vest just asked Ruthie to scoot over to make room for an Asian woman. The lady’s smile is squinting her oriental eyes.
Mike’s sermon is over now, but I don’t leave for another three hours. The strong breeze coming down from the array of black bents and fans above characterizes this building, where we spend every Friday, Saturday and Sunday evening. A small boy is stalking through the swaying figures of lingering worshipers in front of the stage.
Now he’s sitting a few feet from his dad, picking his ear, and then pulling on the bars between him and the gib- a large, weighted camera guide. It resembles a black, featherless and overly-inquisitive crane. It’ll stoop down to study the face of a wailing man, and the next minute lift its neck high for a good look at the worship team, sometimes closing in on the worship leader’s lips, catching every articulation of their mouth with its solitary eye. Now the boy is sitting, restrained between the knees of his dad. His sister is beside him, likewise between the knees of her mom. A mass of little girls have started to dance in the sections around the stage. The boy saw them fluttering and twirling in dainty circles, and decided to show his own talent to his dad. He’s prancing back and forth for his dad’s attention, and draws closer when his efforts are pointedly ignored.
I spend the majority of my day, from when D’Arcy texted me at 7:15, until lunch researching for a story I’d like to write about a girl who lives in Birmingham, AL. Most of Izzy’s team met in the MPR at 1:00, and we practiced until 3:00 for our Worship with the Word tomorrow. Before dinner, I sat with Josh Rainwater, holding my hazelnut coffee in my palms to warm them. He didn’t seem to be able to log into his internet filtering software, so he just bypassed it altogether. I caught a bit of the audio book I downloaded for free off of iTunes yesterday evening. I haven’t mentioned what a perfect afternoon it was. I got back from Burn Class, determined to make my day better, since it was my night off. I wandered into the kitchen, checked for non-existent food, and reverted to washing my roommates’ dishes, pretending it was for that treason Id gone in there. (Misty’s team deserted her, and she just started her little spontaneous singing-while-she-fingers-the-keys thing.) I finished washing dishes and went to sing in the shower. Then I sat on the carpet and texted Genel, telling her about the rainy weather, my wet hair and how it all made me crave some warm, sugary snacks. After listening to a couple of literature podcasts, I hurried to dinner, avoiding the coffee colored puddles that stained the flooded parking lot. To my delight, dinner turned out to be brunch. Apple pancakes, hash browns, eggs and sausage patties. Well, I would have wished the servers’ generosity to have stretched to giving me those plurals, but thankfully it was enough to make a difference. When I was about to leave, my phone vibrated and I read Daniel Young on my caller ID. I answered; it was Jonathan. What a wonderful surprise from such a wonderful brother. We had good chat- I don’t remember a time when I felt like he was having such breakthrough in God. Then I spent the rest of my waking hours with my audio book. Josh came in while I lay on the couch; he was overjoyed. He showed me a couple of hardcore ancient religious books he’d just bought. More books to add to the huge collection he already had, stacked on the dresser in my bedroom. He smiled like a five year old with a new toy, though what he carried could be torture to a twenty-five year old, if they lacked his passion for books about long-dead Catholic saints.

Sheffield House

2009-10-05T09:01:00.000-07:00

The interns who had stayed during break were asked to help serve food at a place called the Sheffield House. So, on Sunday morning we gathered in front of the café and carpooled to the church. We waited inside the building, in the kitchen, where some aged people worked on cutting pies. One of them was a man with a red face, blue eyes, and a mullet. His mullet was perfect; I just had to stare at it. It looked like the father of all mullets; a faultless example of a Hairstyle my friends are playing with, dancing around and seeing how close they can get without striking the same sickening fashion note. I moved tables, served food and when I got the chance, sat down to eat. Bethany was at my table; she chatted with Andrew and I. I didn’t remember ever telling her about Hannah, but she spoke like she knew her. When everyone had eaten, we put the tables back, stacked the chairs and vacuumed the floor. The meal administrator preached at us afterwards as we sat on the stage steps. I massaged Micah’s back when he asked me to. I’m sure it was pure bliss. I wouldn’t mind a massage. I talked to Elizabeth later that afternoon and went to bed early.
Monday was a relaxing day. I took advantage of it. It was the last day of the break, so interns were trickling back into IHOP. Some were rested, and some were more stressed than when they had left. Our curfew was early that night, at 8:00, so I downloaded plenty of short stories off of iTunes to listen to. What a brilliant idea! That night I sat and lay in my room, with earplugs in my ears. I heard several stories, including A Case of Identity, The Unexpected, and The Man Who Disliked Cats…

Cafe' au lait.

2009-10-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

It's cold and windy outside. I'm sitting in the cafe, drinking a cafe' au lai. Elizabeth, Charity and Stephen just left to continue their trip back to Indiana. We ate at a grill & bar. Charity and I had burgers, and the other two had sandwiches. It was a nice time, but too short. Just enough to make me lonely. And I'm doing the only thing that helps when I feel like this: I'm listening to music. A shot to the starts by Whitley.
Yesterday was a radnom day. I missed lunch, used facebook for most of the day,practiced guitar a bit, and went to EGS after dinner. Elizabeth interrupted the worship by calling me, because she was stuck in traffic. Then, I went back to using facebook and Daniel joined me. Noah came for a few minutes and rubbed my back- it was nice, because there aren't too many physical people out there, and I haven't recharged my batteries in a long while. Daniel invited me to watch Horton Hears a Who, so I walked to the Fort with him and popped some popcorn. I washed their dishes while he cut some apples, and we talked about abortion. Later, Micah joined us and I chowed on some of Daniel's mac and cheese. I had a grea time, considering I had thought I would spend that night alone. And now, there's really nothing substancial between today and Tuesday, when we start the internship back up again. I need to find a wardrobe to Narnia.
Oh, Hide and Seek is on. When I hear this, it reminds me of that day back in Guatemala when Hannah was washing and rewashing her white comforter, Louise was cooking and Jonathan was... Jonathan. I think I'll always hold that day close to my heart.

Taro flavored bubble tea.

2009-10-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

The morning of my first day off I woke up at 10:30. I took my time showering and getting dressed, put my laundry in the washer, and left for lunch and to use the internet. I came home after a while and played the guitar for a bit. Then I tried for about an hour to record a video for my friends, but the Mac was acting obnoxiously. It wouldn’t ever save more than a minute of my recording, so all I accomplished was an increase in charisma. After that disappointment, I ate dinner, which was amazing (lasagna, garlic bread, salad, applesauce, and a spectacular coffee cake). At 6:15, I met Katie in the café. We stopped by my apartment so I could grab my wallet, and I put 6 gallons in her tank. Then we drove to Westport and found a parking spot at The World Market. I bought a bottled drink so we’d be legit, since it was costumers only parking. That store was full of the perfect things for a package. I’ll make sure and go there next time I have the cash for one. We walked to Tea Drops, passing the bars full of smiling people. I saw groups of hobos sitting together on the sidewalk, smoking and enjoying the evening cool. I got her some kind of cold tea drink, and I got Taro flavored bubble tea for myself (the suggestion of the guy taking my order). Her drink was OK, but mine was FANTASTIC! I’m in love with it. I’ll get it again… Or maybe a couple more times. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go with some friends if they come for the end of my internship. I got to see her apartment, where I played her roommate’s keyboard. God’s so awesome- He knew I wanted to play the piano. I’ll probably be going back again during my break to hang out with her some more. She’s a wonderful person.

Thrift stores

2009-09-29T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hannah called me this morning! We had a great conversation, though I barely let her talk. I AM the little brother, after all.
Dakota asked me to go with him to the thrift store after lunch. He wanted to buy some plaid flannel shirts. We didn’t find any that were his size in the first store. The goodwill had a few, which he bought. While he was in the changing room, I saw Katie with her mom. She was furniture shopping for the house she bought recently; the one she told me about a while ago while we worked in the garden. She described the theme she’s going for: She likes stone and wood (so do I), and she wants to use a sort of 1940’s vintage style. I have no idea how that will turn out, but I sure would like to see it when she’s finished. I was looking through the store, searching for inspiration, and I saw a stack of records. I’d never paid much attention to records, so I was surprised when I found a ton of piano and jazz treasures. They made me want to buy a record player.
Dakota invited me to an Owl City convert with him and some friends. I accepted, but later I told him that I wouldn’t be going. It sounded exciting- a few friends back home loved the music, but I don’t want to spend money on things unsanctioned by God. “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.” He’s all I have that really matters, and I frown upon situations where I don’t feel close to Him. I can’t seek to be whole in my human relationships (though they add necessary diversity to my wholeness), but He doesn’t mind me being whole in Him.

"It's a gift"

2009-09-28T09:08:00.000-07:00

I woke up early Sunday morning to bake cookies and make cheesecake for E12. I was disappointed with how the cookies turned out, but they were OK. Chris bakes better ones, for sure.
Andrew baked these squares called sweet dream bars. I waited until the meeting to try them, though. And when I did, I had to share with everyone because they all loved them! Since we were playing Apples to apples instead of discussing the end times, we decided the winner could eat the last one. John, Nathan and Jane tied for 1st place, so Jane got it.
A man named John Wesley Hall spoke at FCF. He’s a quadriplegic theologian and scholar, with a passion for revival. After E12, I was ready to go to bed, but we had Deep Clean. Nathan helped even though house leaders weren’t required to. I wiped down all of the filthy door frames, cleaned the bathroom and “vanity” area, and arranged my personal space. We started off great, but after the first two hours, half the team was stuck in the kitchen in an endless theological debate. Figures.
I love Josh, and we all have weaknesses, so I’m not going to point them all out. This one, nonetheless, affects our entire apartment. He seems to have a hard time following through with his cleaning duties. A few months ago, someone thanked me in front of him for cleaning the surplus of hair he’d left all over the bathroom. He then claimed that God bestows the “gift” of cleanliness on some, while bestowing different gifts on others, such as the grace to pray and fast (This is just one example of his cleverly aimed defensive remarks).
He doesn’t understand that laziness is man’s fallen nature and that to pass his responsibilities over to someone with the acquired discipline is blatant slothfulness. Any mom knows that’s not a trait her child is just born with. Can you imagine me coming out with a duster and anti-bacterial wipes?
Before the night was over (at around 2:30), I was in the living room alone and I heard a yelp upstairs. I live in a complex full of guys, so I didn’t give it much notice. Then David came running down the stairs in this shorts. I was wondering what he was up to when something crashed through the balcony glass door and shot glass shards all over the floor, leaving a huge hole in the door. I was in shock- someone had just shattered my glass door. I went outside in time to see David running into the parking lot without shirt or shoes, chasing a fleeing truck. Apparently, they’d thrown water balloons at his window too, but it hadn’t broken.
Security came and was surrounded by my house companions, who flock to action like weasels to a bird’s nest. I cut myself picking up the glass, and finally retreated into my bedroom bleeding profusely from a small puncture. I got in bed with heavy eyelids, toilet paper wrapped around my finger, and three cousins on my heart.
Charity and Elizabeth flew out yesterday. I texted Elizabeth today before Core class – She’s now in California.

Twizzler soap

2009-09-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

Thursday night was like a big red apple. I’d been waiting for it since dawn, since it’s my scheduled time off. Not only that, but we had a birthday party planned.
I wrote and prayed in the prayer room from 10-12, ate lunch, and facebooked for the next hour, then went back in and read Growing in the Prophetic until 2:30. Burn Class lasted another two hours, and we were finally off. I took the opportunity before dinner to go to Wal-Mart with Andrew. It was the third time I’d run out of soap, ad I was determined to not let it happen again. I bought six bars of cherry soap, which turned out to smell a lot like Twizzlers. Yeah! I get to wash my body with big, fat Twizzlers… I also bought ingredients for the sweets I’m making for E12 on Sunday. Andrew ground his coffee beans at Starbucks. We chatted for a good while that evening. Dinner was green beans, potatoes, and chicken with some kind of cheese on it I dawdled on my virtual restaurant until it was time for the party, and went to wait with the guys. That’s when I was hit by a wave of feelings. It was like biting into the apple and expecting a bland, sweet flavor, but tasting vinegar instead. It was the first time I’d been outside during dusk since Georgia, and I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t help missing Michaela, though I knew I shouldn’t.
On the way to bdubs, I got to talk to D’Arcy! It was so wonderful. She gave a witty narrative of life in Georgia. Her faith struck me like it always does. I read recently about living to make an impact. The writer mentioned the platform of Billy Graham and the influence of a terrorist. Then he pointed out that though these loud voices do cause a splash in time, it’s the faithful and enduring people who create the tide that brings people to salvation. He challenged me to think of the most influential people in my life, and I immediately thought of my own mother. Under the surface of appearance, it’s the people who’ve followed through in a consistent way who have impacted our lives the most. Though others catch our gaze for a moment, they don’t compare to those who’ve been diligent in the little things. When I thought of her, I could understand the power behind the writer’s words; she’s the perfect example.

Israel set.

2009-09-24T15:24:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 7:40 this morning. I'm not sure what woke me up- my internal alarm, or Josh's beeping cell phone. I had set the alarm to go off five minutes later. I got ready, left my hair curly, and walked to the cafeteria for breakfast and internet. I accidently left my key & cell phone in my apartment. I couldn't wait to work on my restaurant on Facebook. You can hire friends to work in it, so I hired Kat and Jordan Bostrom. I know Kat is an excellent cook, with good taste and creativity; and Jordan is detail oriented. It's a good experience- Seeing who I would hire as a boss.
I'm in the 10-12 intercession set for Israel now, and Julie Meyer is leading it. I've noticed a very eastern musical overtone in these Israel sets. At the Tuesady all-staf with Misty, she kept singing choruses in minor keys. Now Nathan Prior is doing the same on the keyboard and the girl playing violin sounds like the fiddler on the roof.
We're celebrating Paden, Serenity and Micah's birthdays tonight at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Elizabeth!

2009-09-21T22:06:00.000-07:00

The Ten Year Anniversary Celebration ended yesterday with a giant picnic at the John Anderson Park 20 minutes away. I took a shuttle to FSM, and a bus to the park. A man named Jenny sat beside me and we chatted for a bit. I saw his Simeon company badge, and he told me that it was ending soon. He told me about his calling; that he felt the Lord was leading him into a lifestyle of raising up and preparing burning and shining lamps (figuratively speaking, of course). He used the analogy of lamps in that some of the young people he’d be ministering to would need oil, some would need their wicks trimmed, and some would just need a flame. Apparently, he had some money reserved when he first moved up from Las Vegas, but was now living every day at the mercy of God.
I walked around the park, joining a group here and there. After 5:00 I got in the rapidly growing food line. There must have been about five hundred people in front of me, and hundreds were joining behind. When I finally grabbed a hotdog and some snacks, I sat on the grass with some other interns and felt my phone vibrating. It was Elizabeth! She asked me if, by any chance, I would be free on October 2nd. She didn’t know that my only break for the entire internship is from October 1st-4th. What a coincidence that Charity, Stephen and she are driving up from California during my short break! Apparently, Stephen's found a job in London, so the girls are flying down to hang out with him, and driving back to Indiana before he flies out. They said that they’d stop by and spend a day with me on their way up. God must have wanted to surprise me with a little gift. I want more, though; I want Him to do something in their hearts when they’re here. God, please break into their lives and show them who you really are.

Lifestyles

2009-09-14T11:05:00.000-07:00

I woke up at the sound of Josh taking a shower. It was 9:20, so I had 40 minutes to get ready and go eat breakfast. I chatted with Andrew about Middle Eastern food while I stood in front of the mirror. I recalled that Jewish meal we had back home last spring. I remembered how intense the ceremony was, and that the food, though delicious, was incredibly monochrome. Bethany Blosser is about to teach about Mary of Bethany.

JPR Set

2009-09-12T16:04:00.000-07:00

Different shades of purple are scattered across the room. The second basketball game is tonight, and interns show their support by wearing the team color. We have informal intercession sets every weekend, and there are four teams made up of singers and musicians chosen at random from the pool of interns. Those who wanted to be on a team had to audition weeks ago, but the try-outs were mainly just to figure out the worship leaders. The third team is leading today, and their music resembles the noisy loading of goods onto a merchant ship. The violin sounds similar to the squeaking of a crate, the drums to the rolling of barrels, and the singers to raucous sailors. I’m sure this band can be distinguished in the heavens as more than a bustling port with walking eggplants, but as a worshipful heart cry.
These earplugs I bought for a dollar after losing my first pair are helping me think, though the smell of chili dog on my hands is distracting. I should have washed them better. In fact, I shouldn't have eaten that chili dog. My stomach is scolding me for piling it onto my morning coffee.

The taste of gray.

2009-09-11T23:13:00.000-07:00

From the moment my consciousness hits the back of my eyelids that same dry state of mind drags me into a “reality” I refuse to accept any longer. I’ve read the words in those boxes, and I realize… That’s someone else. How? Is it the passing of days and the closing of doors that changed my signature? No. These things were good- necessary. And as they are, they should stay; but shouldn’t light add to the color? My striving is bleaching it away. When will it stop? Will starving bring love? No. So I’ll speak. And my hope will quiet the sharp groaning in these still rooms. The taste of gray is killing me. If I can’t dull it away, and each warning brings the pang of inadequacy… I’ll hold His hand. Where does it say He’ll hold mine? The voice tells me “just one more thing, maybe then you’ll have it… Maybe then you’ll feel it.” I know I’ll end up naked, unless I close that door and fall on my knees. This taunting has to end. The warmth of slavery is ever tempting, but when I look at the sea I crossed to get here, I know that if I go back all is lost. I understand more now; that truth in the desert is better nectar than their confused, honeyed lies. “Catch us the foxes. The little foxes that spoil our vines.” I want to feel safe again. Is that an illusion?

Watch and pray.

2009-09-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

When we read the Bible through the lens of the bridal paradigm, it becomes a fascinating love story of between God and His people. In this story, He sends His son to die for His people, who are the bride, so they might be saved. His son, the bridegroom, is raised from the dead, and lives in heaven to intercede for His bride, waiting for the revelation of His Father’s ultimate power and wisdom in the fulfillment of His will. This story culminates in her purification, and her all-consuming love for her bridegroom. Before the end, she will cry out for Him, and will not keep silent until He returns. He makes it clear that she is to watch and be ready for the season in which He comes. Since we are the bride, this is our mandate- that we be prepared for the Day of the Lord. We can do this by examining what positive, negative, technological and political signs He set forth in the scriptures are presently being fulfilled- to know whether we are living in the generation of His return.

To begin with, there are an abundance of positive signs that are being fulfilled in our generation. Matthew 24:14 tells us that before the end, the gospel would be preached throughout the whole earth. Already, The Gospel has been preached to four billion people; churches exist in hundreds of nations and territories of the earth; and the Bible has been translated into thousands of languages available to ninety-eight percent of the world’s population. Two hundred years ago, nearly seventy-five percent of the global population was untouched by the gospel, but today, after the global population has multiplied seven times since then, only twenty-five percent of the earth has not been evangelized. Another positive sign is the stirrings of the global prayer movement prophesied in Revelation 8:1-5. Millions gather every year on the Global Day of Prayer. Also, in Isaiah 62:6, the Lord promises to establish intercessors who will pray day and night; and this cry for justice crucial to His return 1. This sign is being fulfilled all over the earth, and houses of prayer were established even in Israel, for the first time in thousands of years.
An extra positive sign being fulfilled around the earth is the promise of God to establish pockets of mercy 2. The revival and societal and environmental change in such countries as Almolonga, Cali, Columbia, the Fijian Islands, Guatemala, Kenya, and Kiambu are the beginnings of the fulfillment of this promise.

Secondly, we see the completion of many of the negative signs in our generation. The first is the emergence of the Harlot Babylon world system. Ideas that distinguish this world system are those of religious pluralism and moral relativism. There is an increasing boldness of immoral behavior, and of false practices in the church that are direct contradictions of Scripture as an infallible source or moral plumb line, such as the denial of Jesus Christ as the only way of salvation, the denial of the Deity of Christ, and the support for homosexual marriage. These compromises in the church are being amplified with the decreasing respect for the Bible, and will lead to mass deception and eventually, the great falling away 3. Another sign that is rampant in other countries, less subtly than in ours, is persecution against believers4. Persecution is at a peak in the 20th and 21st centuries. The number of martyrs recorded over 1,900 years of church history equaled 24.6 million. In the 20th century alone, there were 45.4 million martyrs across the earth. Possibly the most startling negative sign that is coming to its fullness before our very eyes is the increase of wickedness on the earth5. According to prophecies, this increase will manifest in a high rate of violence, murder, and sexual immorality. Currently, we live in one of the most violent eras of human history. Deaths related to genocide (ethnic cleansing) and tyranny totaled 83million in the 20th century alone; and from 1973 to 2002, 42 million abortions were performed in the United States. In 2003, 42 million abortions were performed worldwide. Some estimate the total number of abortions worldwide from 1920-2000 to be between 527 to 836 million babies. And as for sexual immorality- every second, $3,075.64 is spent of pornography world wide; 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography; and 372 Internet users type adult search terms into search engines. Every 39 minutes a new pornographic movie is being created in the United States. There are currently 35 million slaves on the earth, and 80% of these are sex slaves.

There are a few technological signs coming to pass in our generation- paving the way for the end-time prophecies to be fulfilled. Daniel wrote about an increase of knowledge and the ease of travel at the end of the age 6. The generation we live in has access to a ridiculous amount of information through the internet. Any subject is available to study or research. One of Google’s goals is to put all the books that have ever been written on the internet. The collective sum of all printed knowledge is doubling every four years, and over 500,000 new books are published every year. Also, travel is easier than at any time in history. The research of nuclear weapons 7, television and satellite transmission 8, robotics 9, and computer and laser technology 10 are also signs of the generation in which we live. Some scientific advancements are actually fueling immorality (gender change) and murder (stem cell research-abortion), as ethics are becoming ambiguous in today’s culture 11.

Lastly, there are several key political signs that are being fulfilled in this generation. Numerous prophecies about the end-times make it seem like the city of Babylon will be rebuilt as a center for world government13. This is startling, because just recently, the government of Iraq has made serious plans to rebuild the city of Babylon. Another fulfillment of political prophecy is the emergence of Asia as a global power. In both Daniel and Revelation, the kinds of the east are imperative in the end-time scenario. Over the past centuries, Asia has remained fairly isolated in matters of world politics, but China, Japan, Pakistan and India have gained global leadership and political power overnight. This is yet another unforeseen symptom for the end of the age. Nevertheless, the reestablishment of Israel as a nation in 1948 and the Jewish reacquisition of Jerusalem in 1967 are the two most important fulfilled political signs. Israel has a significant role to play in God’s purposes in redemptive history, and the fact that the Jews regained control of the political state and Jerusalem, as well as the fact that over five million Jews have returned to their homeland both shout at us the age in which we live. Now, hundreds of prophecies can be fulfilled literally because of these two unprecedented events. Also, Zechariah prophesied that the nations around Israel would rage against it14. It’s not surprising then, that we can already distinguish the fulfillment of this sign in the Middle East. How bizarre, that this small nation is constantly at the center of worldwide politics. The fact that Israel is planning to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem is another looming sign. The Jews have the resources to rebuild it, and the construction would only take a few weeks. This is a direct fulfillment of the prophecy in 2 Thessalonians 2:3. Finally, no civilization in all of history has regained their language after almost 2000 years of dispersion. This historic miracle would be enough, but even more astonishing is the fact that Zephaniah the prophet told the Israelites that the Lord would restore to them a pure language after they had returned from the dispersion15.

After examining the many positive, negative, technological and political signs in the scriptures that are presently being fulfilled, it is evident that we are living in the generation of His return. The church is starting to see itself as more than an “army” to a Captain, more than a “son” to a Father, and more than a “servant” to a King, but as a bride to a king with all power and wisdom. This revelation will sustain her during the perilous times at the end of the age. The technological signs that are being fulfilled even now are “setting the stage” for the end time scenario. It is imperative that we discern the times in which we live, and consider the signs that are yet to be fulfilled. “Watch ye therefore, and pray always”

1 (Luke 18:1, 7-8)
2 (Exodus 8:22; Numbers 35:11-14; Joel 2:14; Zephaniah 2:3)
3 (2 Thessalonians 2:3, 7-11; 1 Timothy 4:1-2, Matthew 23:12, 24:4-5; 2 Timothy 4:3-4; 2 Peter 2:1; Jude 4)
4 ( Daniel 7:21, 7:25, 11:35, 12:10; Matthew 5:11, 10:21, 24:9; John 16:2; 2 Timothy 3:12; Revelation 13:7, 12:17, 18:4-6)
5 (Genesis 6:5, 11-12; Daniel 8:23; Matthew 24:12, 37; Luke 17:28-30; 1 Timothy 4:1-3; 2 Timothy 2:1-5; Joel 3:3;
Revelation 9:20-21,18:13)
6 (Daniel 12:4)
7 (Matthew 24:22; Luke 21:25-26; Revelation 6:8, 8:7, 16:2)
8 (Revelation 11:3-12)
9 (Revelation 13:14-15)
10 (Revelation 13:16-18)
11 (Revelation 9:21)
12 (Ezekiel 36:22-37:1-2; Zechariah 12:1-6; Matthew 24:32-34; Mark 13:28-30; and Luke 21:29-31)
13 (2Thessalonians 2:3)
14 (Zechariah 12:2-3, 14:2)
15 (Zephaniah 10:5; 12:6-9)

Secret:

2009-08-04T22:57:00.001-07:00

And that is,
I’ve started learning how to play guitar. My friend Neil is helping me by giving me tips on technique. I’ve decided to start practicing during my free time, instead of spending it all surfing the web. Acoustic guitar has such a different feel than piano. After playing piano for six years, it’s neat to start over with something fresh.

I’m wearing earplugs, but I can still hear Ron praying over the mic. Nathan’s synths sound great with the bass, vibrating through the room. I’m in here today from 4-12, just like every Tuesday. I’ve set some boundaries lately to keep myself engaged. I’ve found that without them, I’ll end up sleeping, daydreaming, and texting friends. Then I get frustrated, and ultimately defeat the purpose of being here.

Neil also gave me advice on how to live a healthier lifestyle. I’m going to start small and work towards having a healthy diet-- no more chips at the cafeteria, no more soda, and junk like that. I’ll stop buying ramen cups after I finish the dozen I got yesterday. One vice I doubt I’ll overcome is chocolate chip cookies, just the satisfaction of their smell wafting through the apartment, and seeing the wonder in my roommates’ eyes when they bite into a freshly baked cookie... It’s all too much to sacrifice. Ok, maybe I was being overdramatic. But I do love making cookies.

Monday Again

2009-08-03T15:53:00.000-07:00

It's my day off!
Until 8:30, that is, and then I have a meeting until 12:00.

Besides shopping for groceries, eating, and doing laundry, I've been on the computer the whole time.

Could use an adventure right about now.

Commitment

2009-08-01T11:15:00.001-07:00

Everytime a session or the prayer room has overwhelmed me, and I've left, God's poured out His Spirit on my fellow interns- and I've missed out. So, I'm making a commitment to not ditch anymore. No matter how hard those last three hours are, I'll keep pressing on.

Funny story about ditching- I took the shuttle back from FSM at around 10:45 last night, when I was supposed to stay until 12:00 am. When unlocked the apartment complex door, I found that Andrew had locked the door to our actual apartment. I had figured he might do that, since he left the internship to be a counselor for a few weeks, and everyone had alreay left for the conference. After checking all the doors and finding them locked, I climbed up to the balcony, and got in through the glass door we hadn't locked. They need to give me a key.
I have super ninja skills.

Sitting on my Bed

2009-07-25T11:12:00.000-07:00

I was spending some time with Jesus,
and I asked Him why He was with me
if there are people all over the world who need Him.
And He said that He was with them:
The girl in Africa, struggling to feed her family,
The girl in Asia, concentrated on her studies,
The girl in Mexico, locked in a cage,
The girl in Europe, crying for her father,
The girl in the States, celebrating her birthday,
but He's also with me,
sitting on my bed,
with His hand behind my head.

Imagery in Prayer

2009-07-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

Today is my day off! At least until six, that is. Then we have FSM.
It is 10:49 right now and I just got back from the café. I need to do laundry today.
I had coffee with my core group leader, Michael Sorge, yesterday. I gave him my testimony, and he gave me his. It’s so strange that with every person I talk to, my story is different- or at least the way I tell it. I’ve noticed that, but I kind of like it. It’d be boring to relay the same exact message every time.
Josh is speech fasting today, so it’s much quieter around these parts.
I’ve been here for a week now, and I only have nineteen to go. I’m sure they’ll pass quickly, and I’m just hoping that I grow and receive something long-lasting that’ll carry on into my adult life.
I know so little of Him, but I do feel for Him. I feel fear, love, trust, wonder, confusion, excitement, happiness, sadness, and faith. Maybe He’ll take these feelings and weave them into a mature, steadfast love for Him, His son, His spirit, and His commandments. My heart is wicked, but my soul is willing. I’m saved, thanks to His mercy, but how long will it take me to truly understand His goodness?
My Industrial is healing, slowly. It’ll take another three months for much progress, though. I’m soaking it in non-iodized sea salt water for three minutes a day, and cleaning it with q-tips and aerosol wound wash solution three times a day. I also take ibuprofen, because it helps with the pain and swelling drastically.
I got my name badge yesterday, with my photo ID on it. It’s… special. But not the worst picture ever. The clip broke off of it, so I need to tie it back on with something before tonight.
I can see out the glass doors, over the balcony. There’s a pool, where some guys are enjoying themselves.
I passed up an adventure this morning. A group of interns were going cliff jumping, but I didn’t feel like going at ten o’clock. Maybe next time.
Here’s some imagery that came into my mind while I was in the prayer room.
No real sense or rhyme to them, but I felt like writing them down.

The edge of this petal curls,
It’s like an unexpected gift.
With a hand of feathers,
Filled with red, he takes our hearts.
The vines that grow,
Unhindered around these metal gears.

Cranberry Juice

2009-07-24T11:09:00.000-07:00

I’m in the living room, eating some eggs. I have some cranberry juice in a striped little glass. This isn’t the apartment I was in first, because I had to move. There were too many guys in the other one. I like it here. My roommates are great examples, in their own, unique ways. Andrew and Josh are in the same room with me. Andrew is blonde, has blue eyes, and a medium build. He has a good understanding of the Word, and he’s eager to learn more. Since he’s been here, he’s been very kind and considerate, but I wondered at first as to why, because he normally ignores other people. I had a few guesses, but I realized that it didn’t matter. Then I found out he was just doing it because he felt that the Lord had forced him to room with us, “people he wouldn’t normally pour out his love on”, and it was just another lesson in his spiritual growth. That’s when I stopped talking to him. I’m not being bitter; if he asks why, I’ll tell him. I don’t want him talking to me because he has to, that’s all- I like to be wanted. Josh is a shorter, skinny guy, with wavy brown hair and some facial scruff. He has an effeminate voice, and his manner is one of a child, much younger than his age-eighteen. His social etiquette leaves something to be desired, and it seems like he always has to be right. He has the grace for bible study I wish I did, so when I do hang out with him, it’s for the way he influences me to go after the Word of God. These roommates are two very different people. For instance, Josh loves to talk before falling asleep, but he can’t have any light on or any music playing. Andrew doesn’t talk much, especially not in bed, but he enjoys reading in bed and listening to music. There was an argument waiting to happen- And it did. Josh asked me if I had dreams, and while answering him, he started trying to be funny by saying the word “shmope”, over and over again. I finished answering, and then while Andrew was discussing a spiritual topic, and Josh kept interrupting with “Josiah doesn’t shmope.”, and “Don’t you know how to shmope? It’s a sixth sense.” Finally, Andrew couldn’t hold it in any longer.
I don’t even need to write the rest.

Beginning One Thing

2009-07-17T11:04:00.000-07:00

I spent a few minutes with Nathan and Louise last night, when I went to pick up the stuff I’d left at her house. Nathan’s beard is longer, but he’s just as nice as ever. We almost hit some deer driving back to my apartment. Jordan says they’re ghetto deer.
I didn’t sleep that well last night. I don’t know why, but I kept waking up. Maybe because someone kept coughing and heaving, or because I didn’t have a fan like I’m used to. Either way, I was miserable.
I’m sitting on a couch in my new apartment, listening to music on my laptop and drinking coffee. It is 7:25, and I’m all ready to go. They serve a continental breakfast from 7:00-10:00, so I figure I’ll get in about an hour.
I took on the task of re-arranging all of my photos, and Picasa is still recovering.
We got another guy last night. I’ve seen him around for the past two years I’ve been coming around IHOP-KC, so he’s not a complete stranger. The guy’s names in this apartment are Josh, Taylor, Matt, and Andrew in my room, and David, Chad, Josh, and Sean in the others. I was the youngest, until Taylor got here. He’s just sixteen, and even though this internship is just for 18-25 year olds, he got in because he has connections. His sister, Alexia, who was a core leader for Michaela last year and just an unimportant teen camper the year before, is now married to Matt Gilman. Of course, anyone who is related to Matt Gilman can get whatever he/she wants in the IHOP community. It’s like royalty. Personally, I think the Rice’s are a much cuter couple.
After the orientation meeting yesterday, where I sat with my group and we ate dinner and desert, I went over for part of an Intercession set Corey Ausbury was leading. Let me get this straight: I love IHOP-ATL, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, but when the musical notes from stage hit my eardrums, I was blown away. I immediately texted a friend, and she was not surprised. She assured me that this was common behavior for those IHOP-ATL people who spend time in KC. I didn’t care- If God’s anointed them with awesomeness, then there’s no reason I shouldn’t enjoy it. Seriously, though, I’d been gloating about how much our musicians have excelled in the past year, but I didn’t stop and realize that everyone up here did too... Not even kidding: Corey sounds exactly like Jacob. Besides the team and the sound system, I’m sure Hamilton can do just as well.
Speaking of worship, I’m going to try out eventually for the OTI team. I hope I get approved for voice. I’ll drink plenty of water and pray for a good key.
I miss Michaela.

Check-in

2009-07-16T15:49:00.000-07:00

I arrived as scheduled, two hours after we took off. Once the plane landed, I said goodbye to the chatty business man I’d sat next to, and walked to the gate, where Louise was waiting. She looked wonderful, and was wearing a shirt of a beautiful blue color and black slip-on shoes. I got my luggage, but my box wasn’t coming, so I went to the Travel Assistance office. There were others that needed help, and a lady who couldn’t speak English because she was from Venezuela. I talked to her, and she asked if she could borrow my phone. I hope that doesn’t end up costing me too much…
I went to eat at BK with Louise while waiting for my box. After we got all my stuff, we drove to her place, dropped it off, and her friend Nichole picked us up. We went to Target for some groceries for my apartment. It was my first shopping experience on my own, and it cost me $55.00. That was me buying only what I needed.
So, today I checked in at around 11:45. I had to fill out a buttload of paperwork, and it took me a while to move in all my stuff and arrange it, but I’m finally finished. I’m satisfied, lying here on my bed. I chose the bottom bunk, because heat rises, and I hate being hot at night. I have three roommates so far, and I’m the youngest. Eight guys live in this apartment altogether, but it’s got plenty of space, and I’m so thankful that my entire trip has been perfect.

Flying Alone

2009-07-15T15:48:00.000-07:00

On a plane again, but this time it’s flying to Kansas City. And I’m alone. The flight left at 2:42 pm, just 45 minutes after dad helped me check my bags in, hugged me, and went off in his pilot’s uniform to fly another plane to Moscow. He put me on standby, so it’s kind of a miracle that I got on this soon. Got a few texts from friends saying goodbye. Once we took off, I read the note Michaela gave me. It was in a hand-carved wooden box she brought from India, with a picture she drew, a rind from her mother, and a feather from one of our adventures. A key was tied with a red ribbon around the note.
I went to IHOP yesterday for the last time until I get back from KC. I sat with her while Monica led the team on stage. Monica did a fantastic job, considering she’s been fasting on water for three weeks. The whole set was intense. At the end, Jamie Burns called me to the front and about 60 staff & family prayed for my trip.
I drove to the UHAUL storage place to buy a large box for packing, and I encountered Melissa, a girl mom had ministered to.

Relaxed

2009-07-06T18:52:00.000-07:00

I used up all of the creamer on my coffee this morning. That'll most likely be the last good cup of coffee I'll have before I leave, since D'Arcy's fasting that stuff.
The fast has been great. My lunch consisted of a piece of bread, nuts, a tomato with salt, baby carrots, and watermelon. It might have been a difficult prayer meeting, with every intercessor shouting out those taboo words for two hours straight, most of them without any idea of what they were up against. I appreciated Nathaniel, who held the microphone in his trembling hands, and prayed out of his tear-stained bible with power and authority, proclaiming truth and revelation over those in bondage.
Mr. Ugan needed someone to drive his car up to Tucker, so I went up there, dropped it off, and came back with him. I chatted with Louise the entire ride home. We stopped at the park, where he hung out with dad. I wasn't in the mood for fresh air, so I started walking home. It was a gorgeous day, though. The center of the sky glowed with blue, while the perimeter was the color of silver, tinged with yellow. The sun wasn't too bright, so the trees and the grass were an ocean of vivid green.
I was walking over a bridge with my head bowed when I spotted a raccoon and a bunny very close to each other about three feet from me. The raccoon escaped back into the weeds, but the bunny stayed, as if too scared to move. When I was closest to him, he shook with fear but stayed put so that I wouldn't notice him. I saw the relief in his eyes when I didn't lunge for him but kept on going. What a brave little guy.
Every person I passed smelled like perfume. An old lady had too much on, a teenage girl had just enough, and two middle aged women had almost sweated it all off.
A group of tweens yelled at me as I passed a corner, “Hey curly! I hope you're having an affair!” They kept on until I was out of hearing range, but I didn't look back. I remember the days of trying to get responses out of people... Wait, those days aren't over yet. At least I'm not offensive anymore.

Liberty Moon

2009-07-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

This fourth was just perfect. D'Arcy and Jessica picked me up and we had a picnic with Monica, Julie, Chris, and Hannah. Hannah shared my lunch, and still had room for half a dozen Klondike bars. The reason she was eating so much sugar, if any at all, was that it was her and Chris's engagement anniversary, and they take any excuse for a vacation to eat that horrid white poison. Later, I walked with Chris and met up with the Keller's, who had already gotten through half a game of disc golf. He joined their game at hole #12. D'Arcy and I just walked behind them and watched. I had Rachel on a leash. She was so scared of Caleb, which was weird, because only squirrels would have any reason to be scared of him. After the game, we all went and played in the sprinklers. When I stood in the middle of them, there were rainbows all around. And not just 180 degree rainbows either, they were almost complete circles.
Once we were done, a few of us swam in the pool.
Instead of going to the Mall of Georgia to see the fireworks show like we'd planned, we drove to the Braves stadium, because it was less packed. The show was amazing. The fireworks went off right beside the full moon, and the theme music made it all the more romantic. I couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to watch them with the ones I love.

Driving Again

2009-07-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

I drove Luke and Peter back down to Macon and dropped them off. Peter's spending the next week at Luke's place. I ate at Five Guys with D'Arcy. I'd been craving their burgers for a while, but I also wanted her to try them. I don't know if she enjoyed it much, since she's not that into meat, but I was euphoric.
And I don't even like burgers, but Five Guys is just... different. Michaela agrees.
Mom and Rachel got home that night. Suspiciously, Rachel felt fine once she was home...

Everybody Hurts

2009-07-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

This is a song by R.E.M. that was passed on to me by my older sister, who is about to turn twenty-three years old this month. I’ll be in KC, so unfortunately I won’t be with her.
She’s been in my life for longer than any of my other siblings. We’ve lived together in Indiana, New Mexico, South Carolina, and Guatemala. Not to mention the extended car trips we’ve put up with together. The great sister that she is, I don’t give her nearly enough credit.
She’s been one of the best, if not the best influence in my life. The first thing that comes to mind is the impression she’s made by just seeking to remain pure, and sacrificing convenience for spirituality. She’s practically a nun. But it goes deeper… Refinement. If it weren’t for her, my handwriting would resemble chicken scratch, I’d never write in my journal, read anything sensible, recite a word of Shakespeare, listen to the good music, appreciate true art, or even understand what lugubrious means.
It’s exponential.
The ridiculous part is that I couldn’t tell what I had until I lost it. When I lived with my dad in Guatemala, away from the rest of my family, I dreamed of her often. In some she would be in the room next to mine, playing classical on the piano she bought herself, or singing poetry while arranging flowers in a makeshift vase. In others, I would walk to the gate of our property after hearing the unnecessarily loud doorbell, and when I opened it, there she was. We’d live happily ever after, swinging in the hammocks and eating champurradas with instant coffee.
She was so far away, and the only tangible memory to hold onto was her picture, taped on the wall. It seems strange that after a dozen months of being away, her absence was still so strong in my mind that I would open the chest she left behind and go through her stuff. Each smell, each pair of shoes would bring it all back. How did she fit all those things in one chest? A purple bed pavilion? A sheepskin rug? Needless to say, listening to her CD’s didn’t help at all.
The day she came down, a year later. I can remember the day clearly. Seeing her light brown hair, still flying though her plane had already landed, I couldn’t help but catch my breath. It had been so long that I thought I’d never seen such a beautiful, graceful girl in my life. Once again, we were partners in crime in that little country between the continents. During the next few months our adventures consisted of building large gardens (each bountiful enough to feed a small Russian family), trying to keep her fluffy comforter white (which was especially difficult when she hung it under a rusty leak), and making it through those teary days when everything seemed to be falling around her, tearing through her dreams and leaving empty craters behind.
Then skip a few chapters and I remember us at work, cleaning a church building. Her job was to wipe the windows, and mine was to distract her as much as I could. Not really, but that seems like all I can do when we have jobs together. Anyways, we were talking about who and when she would marry. Little did I know while I pushed the janitor’s cart down the hall after the conversation that a year later she would not only be married, but carrying my little nephew.
These recollections could go on, because the stories are endless, but what else is there to say? It’s obvious that she’s the coolest Hannah in the entire world.

Genel's Party

2009-07-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

Genel’s birthday was a while ago, but her party was on Wednesday, July 1st.
It wasn’t until dad asked me that I remembered. I was sitting on the couch in the living room. “Did you guys get Genel a present yet?”
I had planned on buying it with mom, since she pays for all my friend’s presents if she knows them, but that plan had fallen through. She was in Colorado, because Rachel had decided to get afflicted by homesickness. The kind of homesickness that makes you text everyone you know with your weekly “My belly hurts, pray for me”. Her treatment, after a visit to the clinic, and a doctor’s reassurances that there was nothing wrong with her (no stomach cancer, no appendicitis) was to go white water rafting with her mom. Coincidentally, Rachel had started throwing up right when she was going to have to start working as a counselor- no more hanging out with the acclaimed Jordan Lane.
So dad gave me a hundred dollar bill and I convinced Peter and Luke to go with me to pick out Genel’s present. I drove to Target first. Peter bought her a pair of green glasses, which were tacky enough, and Luke bought her a case of Choxie chocolate truffles. We chose a card for her that was supposed to record a ten second message with our voices, but later we found out that it was faulty, and I ended up spending five dollars on a card with elevator music. My present for her was a cap I bought at Marshalls, with 'Coogi' written on the front. It’s a brand name, but the reason I found it interesting was how much it resembled a name Justin and I used to call Genel.
Then I drove to The Avenue, after buying myself an inexpensive iced latte at McDonald’s, and I bought her a gift card at Cold Stone. The guys both got themselves ice-cream there, which they couldn’t finish, and after helping them out, I ended up with a sugar high.
Once we all got to her house, she took us downstairs and we spent the next hour or two painting. Then we left for the Suwannee City Hall and ate at an Italian Restaurant. Michaela and I split a dish of Veal Pepper & Onions in Marinara. Basically, it's spaghetti made with baby fattened calf. We had to ask the waitress what veal was, though, because we had no idea. I left her a nice tip after all the trouble I’d caused by shoving food in Michaela’s face.
After that, we hung out at the fountains in the park, but I didn’t stay because the water was freezing. Michaela and I went to dry off while exploring. We chased the sunset, but upon arriving at some tall train tracks, we realized that the wonder had been behind us the whole time. I learned that where the sun sets isn't necessarily where all the color is. We sat on the tracks and let the wind dry our hair, but she couldn't help but freak out because there was a police station right next to us. Just as she suspected, a policeman eventually drove up and told us to sit somewhere else. He was an Asian... with a gun. That's how she described him. We decided that he was nice, however because after inconveniencing us, he mentioned some other “nice places to sit”.
One of our mini adventures was terrorizing this blond dude on a bike. Whenever he rode past me, I'd call him Peter, until he was so flustered that he and his friends just stayed staring at us from a hundred yards away. I did this because he reminded me of my brother, of course.
I watched Taken and Confessions of a Shopaholic with Luke and Peter that night. They were both awesome, in their own way- the movies, that is.
Chris and Hannah spent the night too. That was fun.

Tall Hope

2009-06-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

Billy is unloading his eschatology message for sessions 10 & 11 now, but I'm distracted by my sobriety. The stoics had it right when they kept their expectations low, because they were never disappointed.
I'm looking for somewhere secure to hang my hopes. Of course they fall into the mud! I'm always flinging them over any and every tall branch I see, without caring how brittle and flimsy they are.
I doubt I'll find it yet. The idea of losing what control I have... It's not something I want to risk. I've never been brave enough for anything worthwhile to come of it. I'd rather feel the pain from the fall than never have fun. I'll wait it through, then try again.
The class is over. I escaped to a reasonably small enclosure behind the main building. I find consolation in the trees. The sadness that pulls me down soaks into the ground; their roots take it in, and their color releases new joy, as birds play the tune of metanoia.
The sun is leaving, taking the color yellow so that it fades from the tips of the trees around me.

South Georgia

2009-06-29T06:41:00.000-07:00

I went to pick up Luke from Macon the other day. He's my brother's best friend, who moved to South Georgia earlier in the year and is coming up to visit.
Huh. God's fixing the awkwardness in our relationship, though it's not perfect.
He talked against MJ today, and I just put up my reflector shield against his ignoramus comments. Today I found out that MJ is Michaela's favorite too, so I'll stand beside her judgment and shun all those who fling unproven and offensive rumors at his grave.
I bought boiled peanuts on the way there, and ate at Cracker Barrel where all of the hicks eat. The food was nasty, but they had good candy. I don't like Cracker Barrel much. The menu is short and redundant. Exotic food is more my style, not the bland nasty stuff. Macaroni Grill has been on my mind lately.

We went to Six Flags today. This time I rode the bumper cars and the sky buckets.
Afterwards, I went to the IHOP all-staff meeting, where I gave Monica the pages D’Arcy had wanted me to give her a while ago.
My feet ache; I’ve had a long day. I went out and played disc golf with dad, Peter, and Luke. I got fourth place, with 38 above par on the 18 holes, which is an OK score for my first time playing. I used my strategic skills to scavenge an abandoned $10 disc from a muddy pond near one of the holes. God must have heard me say recently that I wanted a Viper, but since I hadn’t specified by saying a Dodge, he gave me a Viper Fairway Driver instead. Free is free, and a generous God is the One I serve.
Then, while the hiding sun threw pink and purple rays across the faintly cloudy sky, we took a dip in the pool. The water was warm and salty.
Fallen for You by Larue is playing on my laptop now.

My little brothers are all about Sugar Gliders now. They obsess over them. If I were still in high school, I know I would love to buy one to carry around in my classes, and then sell it once I was done with it. College affords no such foolishness.
Speaking of college, I’m trying to get into the Gwinnett campus of UGA for 2010.
And after that, I have little direction on where I want to live on a long-term basis. Family and friends are a large factor, but so are resource and terrain.
I don't enjoy living near the people groups who don't enjoy life- where the crime rate is high, and education standards low.
I've noticed that the green plains of Virginia have always caught my attention, and so have locations where there's variety in climate, like in Tennessee. But really, who knows? The US might not even be the right place after all.
There's still so much to experience, though, so I'm in no condition to make a blanket statement about where I plan on living all my life.
The only anchors I have now are friends, family, and college.

Got those hormones running through my body, and I’m doing well.
Maybe I should do something active? Meh. I'm so lazy.
I should follow Jordan’s example. I mean, it works for him and he’s not even trying.

Blacklist

2009-06-24T15:51:00.000-07:00

He did it. He cleared my Blacklist. I won't have another one as long as I live. I had grown attached to it... Built alters to my grudges.
Never thought He would, and I surely didn't want Him to.
I felt like an idiot after those calls... Only because I was.
At least they're out of the way and I'm one step closer to receiving the full measure of power God has in store for me.

Putting off Truth

2009-06-23T15:49:00.000-07:00

I find myself daydreaming of going back to the start of my high school experience with the knowledge and confidence I’ve gained over the years.
I’m sure we’ve all wished this in a similar form or fashion.
I imagine starting over with the firm resolution of the knowledge of who I am, sticking to one of these two alternate characters.
The first a redeemed sinner, who’d made the choice to follow the path the Lord set before him, living the fasted lifestyle to the best of his ability, without giving a second thought to compromise.

The second I consider with a sort of awe, an unspoken admiration, though I know deeply that it’s deception and that if I had made this rebellious, but bold decision, then I’d end up in the inferno to which Satan’s worked so hard to drag me. Nevertheless, this reality draws an excitement from within. A gnawing desire for what could have been. Such a craving could only be an illusion, forged by the king of lies, the dragon of deception, the demon of old. What cruelty in manipulation.

I will elaborate on the impact these choices could have had on those short, critical years.
Had I gone with the second, I would have accepted my default behavior, the "real me", as the world would describe it. Instead of hovering over the border of indecision between two lives, I would have declared my sexual, emotional, and mental independence, and rested in the security of the "self" I had chosen, not caring what my peers had to say about it. I consider the effect this would have had on the relationships I had with my classmates. I would have introduced a new, liberating mindset- a fresh factor to the dynamics of our beliefs. My character could have received more respect, because my peers wouldn’t have seen a faltering, confused Josiah, who felt one thing and said another, but one with confidence and the assurance that though everyone he’d looked up to had rejected his decision, he would stick to it and "prove them wrong".

Now I’ll consider what could have happened if I had jumped off the fence, forsaken my hidden acts of "perversion", and cast away the lies of the enemy concerning my true identity. I might have caused an unseen splash in the spiritual atmosphere of my school by standing beside my faith with the fervor and passion His cause ignites. God might have moved through my personal war and caused a revival to break out for the glory of His name.
These… fantasies could seem like the result of an exaggerated ego, or a selfish desire for attention, but I believe otherwise. In my opinion, every one of us is meant for greatness, and if we would just have the courage to follow through with our choices, we could have a deep impact on every person we come in contact with.

But that’s not what I did. I wavered in resolution and lied about myself to the extent that I left everyone reeling and confused, all because of my cowardice.
It’s good to finally see the truth, and to be able to thank God for making a way for me to find myself.

Passionate Pursuit II

2009-06-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

I’m using Hannah’s fancy pen this time! The day is looking a little brighter today. Probably because I actually got some sleep last night, took a nice shower, and drank some coffee.
Adonis is giving the Anna testimony on stage right now. Yes, I’m still in the conference. It finishes tonight. I’ve enjoyed every session and I think I even needed them. The pictures of what I should do are clearly outlined, but sometimes I fail to see the reason behind them. God’s calling me this way, though, I can feel it.
For the past few weeks I’ve been waiting for something to shift in my heart- Waiting because I knew that I wasn’t strong enough and most of the time I had no clue, but this conference has encouraged me where I needed it.
I felt Hannah’s baby nudge today.

Passionate Pursuit I

2009-06-20T10:24:00.000-07:00

I’m at the Passionate Pursuit conference. It’s the second day since it started. Mel’s on stage with her team leading worship and it is 10:24 am. Michaela hasn’t gotten here yet- as far as I know. She could be in the crowd worshiping, though. I was feeling super tired this morning, considering I spent the night here at IHOP, but a few minutes with Meredith and Genel and a box of Krispy Kreme donuts woke me right up. The drink Isaiah bought got stuck in the machine, so he had to buy another, but when that one got stuck, we had all gathered around to watch. Finally, he bought a third and they all came out.

Life on the Ranch

2009-06-14T15:27:00.001-07:00

I’m finally on a plane to Atlanta. Though we were planning on flying back on Friday, there were some last minute cancellations and our trip was delayed. The extra day at grandma’s was great, even if we did all want to be home.
The Cox’s left on Friday, but they were driving.
I told Michaela that it would be another week before I would be coming home, so I’m guessing she‘ll be surprised to see me at IHOP. That’s if she comes at all.
One of my favorite things about Texas is the variety of beautiful, different trees. They make everything scenic. There’s nothing like watching the sun set over the calm waters of a lake, with a horse beside it, grazing underneath one of those knotty, reaching trees.
I took pictures of some of the amazing things I saw- The Weimer Museum we visited yesterday, the blanket of green resting on the unmoving pond beside grandma’s church, and even Cameron doing a number of flips into the pool. I’ll upload them on facebook.
The only thing tragic about this visit is that I lost my favorite bracelet in the world at the house. I was planning on keeping it forever… I’m definitely not telling her.
This plane took off at 5:30 this morning, but the sky is already filled with the colors that the sun’s brilliance brings. Days are always longer in the heavens.
I got coffee and cookies from the air waitress. I was enjoying my coffee, a.k.a. sweet nectar of life, when the lady in front of me sat down too hard in her chair and spilt some onto my personal little plastic table. At first I was kind of annoyed, but then I saw her uniform and my inconvenience turned to honor. Those who serve my country deserve my respect and have earned it. Her two daughters were beside her and they had blonde hair like their mother’s. Her hair was pulled up into a tight bun. I imagined all of the sacrifices she made when she joined. I wonder at the faces that must lie heavy on her mind when she’s away and what thoughts must warm her heart the most. I overheard her talking to her babies. “Only one more plane ride after this, and we’ll be there. Then I’ll have to come back here, fly to Texas and go to work.” Her children are brave.
I do think about people, I admit it. Just the other day I asked the girl behind the counter at Quizno’s about her work life. She answered as if she didn’t know what the right answer was, but with a positive attitude. A positive outlook is good, but so is an honest one.
I know a job like hers would never be my piece of cheese.
Standing in one place all day, trying to get people’s orders right, and eventually abhorring the thought of a sandwich.
I’d like to work on a ranch. Of course I feel this because I just spent a whole week in rural country, but I am peculiar when it comes to permanent work. It would be just fine to wake up early in the morning and start working with the animals; feeding the goats, chickens, horses and cows. (I didn’t forget those adorable barn cats)
I’d cut my hair short so that I wouldn’t pass out at noon. It’s an active job, to say the least, but I think I’d grow and learn a lot more from a job like that than from working at some Wendy’s.
The first thing I’m going to do when I get back to Lawrenceville is send Kat’s DVD back to her. It’ll be great to be rid of that.
I talked to Elizabeth yesterday and she mentioned something about moving to California with Stephen.
If everything changes up there in Indiana, I’ll have no one to visit when I go next year.
I decided to review some of the senior year school books these last few weeks before I start OTI. I’ve nothing better to do, and I did slack off the entire last two semesters. Anyways, I feel like my brain’s suffering from atrophy with all these videogames and television shows. I doubt zombies get accepted into medical school.

Paints

2009-06-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

I’m sitting on the balcony that overlooks grandma’s lake. There’s a herd of deer grazing in the field on the other side. They come around here often since she hangs feeders on her trees. One of the does just lay down beside the shore. She looks content.
There are other animals that graze in these fields; mainly grandma’s pet cows- the ones that aren’t with the regular riffraff in the other, bigger fields. She has many cows. They live on her land, and because she’s retired, she pays a Mexican man to take care of them. I volunteered to do some work with the Mexican, Tele yesterday. I brought Chris along and after we were done, we climbed over the barb wire fences and walked home with the blazing hot air blowing through our hair.
The boys, including dad have spent much of their time fishing in grandma’s lake. We drove to the nearest town, Weimer, yesterday to get them some fishing supplies. It was tiny. Before leaving, we visited the butcher shop and bought a bag of fresh beef jerky. Cameron loves beef jerky. He’s my cousin who arrived yesterday. I hadn’t officially met him until then.
Anyways, the boys have caught plenty of bass, but they’ve also caught their share of turtles, some big and some small. Almost every other time their lines come back with a turtle bobbing at the end, and they end up having to chop off their heads. I never knew turtles were so into hotdogs.
I rode a few horses on Tuesday. Uncle Ron brought them over- One large male horse with bright blue eyes, and a smaller female. They were both paints- the breed that is descendant from the horses of the Native Americans. I rode Sinatra, the larger horse, the most. I led my siblings on several loops, and finally got a few gallops out of my energetic steed. Rachel’s screams echoed through the forest.
I just spotted a fawn with the herd. It’s prancing around its mother, twirling in the sun. They’ve got good hearing because I barely moved my foot and they jumped two feet in the air.
This journal still smells like the coffee Michaela give me, since I had them in the same bag for a while.

First Day in Texas

2009-06-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Bobby the wiener dog is here on the couch with me. We rented an SUV yesterday and rode back from the airport over the flat plains of Texas to grandma’s house.

Suddenly I See

2009-06-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

That song comes to mind as I fly over… I don’t know.

I just asked the male, Hispanic flight attendant (who my blonde traveling partner thinks is attractive) which state we’re over, but he has no idea. What use are flight attendants, then? Just a kind face to the lonely wanderer? Or one to serve snacks and beer to some people, while others watch with gaping mouths? If they had a self-serve snack bar, at least we’d get to stretch our legs…

He doesn’t know where we are! Even I know that we're over the Mississippi River.

This concept lacks of adventure: An air waiter. That’s like walking back and forth in a crowded, noisy Guatemalan bus selling food, but without being able to get off at the nearest stop.

He just gave me my coke. Sure, that’s nice, but is it just because I’m in front of every other person in this plane? I think so. He needs a real job.
The clouds outside are low and sparse.
Michaela didn’t go to IHOP last night; and when I called her to ask why, she said she was busy. I heard from another friend that she was at Lake Lanier. It was the perfect day to go, with the heat of the early afternoon leaning into the cheeriness of twilight, but a warning would have been nice.
I bought a crème caramel for myself and a cookies’n’cream for Rachel at Seattle’s Best Coffee earlier at the airport. She mocked me for attempting to pronounce my drink properly.
A man to my left is reading a medium sized book, sipping on his Amstel Light. He looks comfortable.
I had to cancel the appointment I had today with Ernie. I hadn’t known that I was going to Texas until yesterday, but I’m not disappointed.
I need more coke.
I discovered an interesting, even magnificent form of art yesterday. The Wee Planets by the French photographer, Alexandre Duret-Lutz. Yesterday I found the urge to change my desktop wallpaper from flowers to something that would capture more of the... big picture, but maintain a creative edge. I googled planets and art, and I found them. They inspire me- Alexandre is a genius.
Speaking of photography, I’ll be saving up for a Nikon D90 here soon. Genel says she’s getting one for her birthday, and Ben already has one.
I could call my uncles and ask their advice. They are amazing photographers.

Uneventful

2009-06-07T22:01:00.000-07:00

I’ve had a typical weekend in the life of a moody, strange 18-year old. Actually, I'm not sure of that. I don’t know any teens quite like myself, and if I did, I doubt I'd hang out with them much. We'd either have to be best friends, or on each other's blacklist. Eventually, it would be the latter. For the purpose of communicating how uneventful some days of my life are, though, I'll keep calling them typical.

Words Unspoken

2009-06-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

A page for the words unspoken- A way of expressing myself that I recently discovered.
8 things I want to tell to 8 people in my life. No names will be revealed so rest assured.

If working to please you is useless, because struggling to understand you is pointless, I’ll throw my hands up and admit to being jealous. That said, you’ve no place in my life, and your interaction with those I love is frustrating. I never want to see you again.
Unexpectedly, and always surprisingly, I catch a glimpse of love in your words. You don’t realize when you do it, and you couldn’t convince me if you tried. You’re the only one who’s given me this treasure, though not the only with your title. Those words answered the stuttering questions of my orphaned mind, and for that, I thank you.
You’re undoubtedly the most important person in my life. I’ve loved you since birth, but my love for you grows with each passing day. You’ve done more for me physically, spiritually, and emotionally than any other, and when you’re gone… Well, that’s an existence that has always been hard for me to consider. You’re an incredible person and I’ve so much more to learn from you.
My patience and my capacity to stand strong have increased from my relationship with you. Though I’ve failed you in countless ways- a sin I’ll most likely repeat, I know our paths are crossed for a reason.
There’s a side of me that only you can reach. Your kindness is unique. You’re one of those people who love deeply and who are always there for me to talk to. Not because you want to use me, but because you care for all of humanity in a special way. If I need reassuring, I can always count on you.
I’ve never said this, but I miss you. The life I had with you was amazing. You taught me independence, maturity, adventure, and stability. The void between us is so great that it’d be closer if we had never met, but I’m not sorry for any of it. It took its course. I still love you, I would still like to help you, and I know you’ll find your own place in this difficult journey.
Why do I feel this insecurity, this desire to please when I think of you? The things you’ve spoken over me… I’ve watched them come to pass with my own eyes. You once kissed me- there was something there you wanted. Will I ever know the real you? Competition, rebellion, confusion, pain- You’ve known me through it all.
I’m hoping... Betting on our future together. It’s been a long time since it began- By coincidence, by nature, by fate, or by accident? I don’t know how, but I’m thankful for you, and I can’t wait for the rest of it.

Life-threatening Experiences

2009-06-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

I'm using Michaela's pen. It's super fancy... Not that it's enough to improve my... interesting handwriting, but it's snazzy, so that counts for something. Actually, it's so cool that I probably shouldn't be using it.

She did come back, by the way. It's been about five days since she arrived, and I've seen her three of those days.. I wonder if she's missing her pen? I grabbed it yesterday when I was sitting with her in the prayer room. Ben was playing guitar and singing on stage.

Here's the story about how she came back. Last weekend I'd been getting the feeling that me might try to surprise me by coming home early- knowing her. I became even more suspicious when Genel let slip that she didn't want me to know something. I came to the conclusion that she must be coming home early, and an hour after that, she left a comment on my facebook, telling me that she was home. Of course, she only told me because she knew that Meredith had found out, and she wanted to be the one to tell me.
Anyways, I saw her Tuesday. I gave her what I'd got her, and she loved it. She gave me a bag of caramel flavored coffee grounds. I’ve already had a few cups.
We didn't get much time together that afternoon because of the Revelation class I was signed up for.
Mrs. Angoyar signed Andrew and Vera up for that, but they weren't too thrilled. I chatted with Vera for a while during Q&A and I found we have some things in common. Spiritually, I mean.
Later that day I found out how creepy Mrs. Hamilton is. She knows things.
Speaking of the Hamilton’s, I went out with Jacob yesterday like I'd planned- for the first time in forever. We ate at Chic-fil-A and checked out the bookstore at the MOG. It was good to see how much had changed in his life.
He says that I'll grow at One Thing. Of that I'm sure. He also said that he's paved the way ahead of me because he's older, and that I'll follow behind in his footsteps. I don't know about that. We're both strong in different areas and struggle with completely different things. For instance, I chose something that he gave up. Doing so, I believe, will significantly mark our paths to run their separate ways.

Once we'd finished at the bookstore, I tried to start the car, but the battery was drained. I had left the lights on. I asked an old man if he could give me a jumpstart, but he stubbornly refused. Jacob then asked another guy, who agreed cheerfully. What a contrast. The jumpstart was a success, but when we had finished, Jacob had the brilliance to touch the ends together while the cables were still attached to the guy's running battery. Did I mention that it had started to rain? Jacob's back was turned when I saw a flare of sparks and his confused arms struggling to keep the ends apart, while trying not to get killed.
It was a learning experience for him, I think. It should have been- His life was compromised.
That's happened to me several times lately too, now that I think about it. I was driving to Wal-Mart last night to get a movie. The night was calm and the weather nice. A perfect time to text while driving... Not that I did.. Everyone knows that's dangerous.
I got my movies and I ran back to the car, through the fresh downpour of rain. I was completely drenched. It was life threatening to have to drive home so late through that virtual hurricane.
That story is nothing beside what happened to me today, though. I was working at IHOP today; cutting branches and such with an elongated chainsaw. While trying to reach a patch of overgrown branches and vines behind the office building, I felt a stinging sensation on my neck. When I reached for whatever was biting me, I pulled my hand back and there was a ginormous spider on my glove. I couldn't help but say my prayers. I'd never been bit by a spider before, which is ironic because another spider tried to kill me a few hours later. I squished it as soon as I felt it's hairy legs crawling across my neck. This one had a bright red upper portion. I must have destroyed a spider colony or something, because they were out to get me.
That job wasn't horrible, though, because I ended up off-roading with a pickup truck to dump the branches.

My lamp is casting a yellow light on this page. I'm listening to Josh Groban sing in Italian on my laptop. I haven't been killed. I wasn’t meant to die by electrocution, or by a car crash, or by spider's venom… Yet. Who knows? Another of my friends might be smart enough to throw a plugged-in hair dryer into my tub, or send me a text message just as the traffic light turns red. Or that evil colony of spiders might again seek their revenge. Until then, I'll keep writing about those who love me.
The sky outside my windows is fading into dusk as Michaela's pen runs across the last few lines of this page. Finally, Josh Groban's voice echoes triumphantly as his song ends.
"Alla Luce Del Sole"

Helen,Georgia II

2009-05-30T16:48:00.000-07:00

My parents tried to get me to go fetch Chris and Isaac earlier, but I got Micah to go. All the girls kept screaming “Have a nice trip, see you next fall!” to the random people passing near our campsite. It was Jessica’s birthday yesterday, so we ate the cake Savannah baked at home. It was so sugary. Hannah would not have approved. But if she had tasted it, her eyelids would have fluttered with delight. Last night I walked to a dock over the lake on the camping grounds. There I watched as the sun went down and the forest around me grew darker until it was a black outline against the pale grey sky. I could listen to all the animal noises of the cool, spring evening. The bullfrogs were loud and I realized that if I hadn't known their croak was from them and not from some crazy moose or wild boar, I would have been frightened. Bats flew overhead, screeching and searching for tasty insects. Near the dock a few geese swam in couples, circling the black lake, whispering to themselves. If geese can whisper, that is. Later we went stargazing and I ended up by myself. The next thing I knew, I was laying in the middle of the field, confused and sleepy. I had fallen asleep. I gathered my blankets and made my way back to my tent, past a large group of teenagers who were lighting fireworks. We went on a hiking trail to Helen today. I’ve had my share of hiking for this month- About four hours of it. On the way there, Rachel and I found a scenic log and climbed onto it. It lay over a small canyon, with a river rushing through it. Overall, it was a nice hike, with an extensive amount of bright green ferns blanketing the forest floor and fallen trees laying everywhere.. As a matter of fact, a tree fell near to where we were walking- Close enough for us to hear the loud crash as it flew down the side of a hill. It could have killed anyone had they been on the path under it. Good thing we aren’t fast hikers. I saw plenty of mushrooms along the path as well. Too bad I didn’t bring my mushroom book. I couldn’t help missing the friends we’d brought last time we came to Helen. At times I’d give anything for their company. At least I was able to get them some souvenirs. Sarah, Rachel and I took a “Love Meter Test” in a curiosity shop along the main road of Helen. It’s one of those things you do when you’re trying to find interest in anything possible. Sarah was rated seductive with a 92, and Rachel and I were rated passionate with 134 and 128 accordingly. So silly.
It seems the Ugans are enjoying their camping experience; as I said before, their tent is right beside ours, and they’re all sleeping in it together, with the two friends Jessica brought along. We light fires in their put and all sit around it. Last night, Mr. Ugan couldn’t find the large can of beans he’d been cooking over the fire. He wondered aloud if a raccoon had dragged the can away, and I imagined a fluffy little black and white creature tugging at the lid of the can, trying to make its great escape with the Ugan’s weekend supply of beans. Mom speculated that the whole thing might have melted into the ashes, but I preferred Mr. Ugan’s story. I walked to the beach again today. It was great, and there were more people there than yesterday. When I came back, I sat with Rachel and Sarah. Sarah read Black, by Ted Dekker the entire time, while Rachel sat beside me and talked to Cody on her cell phone. Apparently, he played guitar in downtown Atlanta recently for money and he earned a total of $1.26. I told him he should frame the money. I could smell the smoke in the air, and there was always some type of bug or another creeping up my legs or biting unwanted holes in my skin. At least they weren’t poisonous… Well I don’t think they were, or I wouldn’t be writing right now. Two little boys had run past our campsite and through a huge patch of poison ivy. Before this trip, I didn’t really know what poison ivy looked like, but since we’re surrounded by it now, I finally do. Speaking of poisonous, Chris and I killed a copperhead yesterday that was swimming up a stream and sitting on rocks just waiting for our plump, juicy feet to get close. But honestly I was more worried of its spreading salmonella than of its biting us. Peter and Caleb are still in the Arizona Mountains, camping with their relatives.

Helen, Georgia I

2009-05-29T16:12:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 7:30 this morning because Mexicans were on the roof banging around. Literally- Dad’s getting a new roof and they started WAY too early.
I’m sitting beside the still, sleeping campfire as the wind blows my curly, more like fluffy hair across my face. Mom and dad are about to go on a walk. Mom convinced him not to bring his fishing rod. “If I see a bass…” He grumbled
“You’ll be mad at me, but you’ll still love me.” She responded.
After getting everything packed and finding what breakfast we could in the empty fridge mom had ravaged while “preparing for camping” this morning, we left. I drove the Odyssey with Chris and Micah sitting in the back listening to their iPods. Rachel drove the Civic ahead of me, since she had the GPS. It was kind of a stressful trip, with no one to talk to and Rachel weaving between the lanes, trying to lose me. Student drivers… Oh well, at least I know how to get here now, thanks to my advanced sense of direction. I just got back from the beach. There’s sand on my legs and a hint of sun on my skin. Chris is to my right- it just sounded like he was singing about the skittles he went and bought from the store across the field. Micah’s whining for him to throw some into his mouth but when he misses them, he blames Chris’s bad throwing.
A couple just walked past our campsite. The guy has a strange red Mohawk.
The boys are still throwing skittles.
The Ugans aren’t here yet, but we have a site for them right next to us.
I’m going to make a fire.

This Old Well

2009-05-28T15:01:00.000-07:00

When look at pictures and find my old music, I decide it’s time to remember-
To take the time to sew the pieces together.
So I sit and I write. I start to draw from the aged, sealed up well. It’s hidden somewhere in my garden, safe from the harsh, turning hands that always sought to abuse it. I blow off the dust and tug at the boards. They’re nailed on tight.
He’s gone- Now I know. There was a day; he would have travelled three thousand miles to receive my young, confused soul. He needed me, right? Well, he needed someone close. We were, after all, meant for each other… once upon a time.
Now it’s all different. Or is it?
His vacancy is complete, a beautiful replacement, almost better than I had imagined- More so than I thought possible. His heart is taken, they’re together forever- The words identical to the ones we spoke when we made those same vows, those same promises.
But mine, on the other hand, is void. It was left I the dust, trampled by my conscience, my unhealing bitterness, denial and self-reproof.
Now I’m not the same; things are different- I was born again into a world of people with a religion for their existence. That’s all part of the past and I don’t remember any of it. It’s better not to, so I say. The twisted lines which lie in these dreadful early pages of my life are part of my story whether others like it or not.
In the end, whose story really makes sense anyways? Then I’ll let the pieces fall, it’s not likely they’ll fit. I’ll move on- We all have to.
Those songs will make me feel, and those pictures will make me imagine what was, and I’ll say to myself: It was all good… One upon a time.

My New License

2009-05-26T14:45:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday and she's already been gone for six days. Nine more to go. I'm in the Eschatology class that we signed up for yesterday. Can't say I'm giving my full attention, but then again, this isn't the first time I've taken it. It's a course Billy will be teaching for the next thirteen weeks, but I won't be here for the end.
I went to the Georgia Department of Motor Vehicles today and took that exam I've been dreading for so long. After fifteen minutes of grueling test exercises, the driving examiner gave me my results: I passed with 88% as my grade. Then I got my picture taken and my license. Finally… I celebrated by buying a delicious hot caramel mocha. I didn’t refrain from gloating to Chris and Rachel when I got home, handing them the title of “pedestrians”.
So, I have graduated, and I did get my diploma. All the friends I’d wanted to come to the ceremony did, and we all had a great time.
Chris had his soccer playoffs, and I invited Kat and Mitts to it. Then Kat and I suffered some drama over the next few days, so I made a personal resolution to put our relationship on an indefinite pause due to those ridiculous situations.
It has been a change to not have so many responsibilities for the past few weeks. Restful, yes, but also strange. It gives me more time to miss those people who aren’t near and who’ve been missing from my life.
I went to Josiah’s open house party for his graduation last night. I stuffed myself with desserts and coffee, and then played monopoly with Micah and his friend Jesse. Jeez, I eat so much junk these days, I’m surprised I still only weigh 160 pounds. All four of us lost to Rachel, though, but it’s not like I expected to win. I spend too much time on pointless, nerdy RPG’s to know much about those long, 20 year old board games that the Seibel’s love to play. I am pretty good at Settlers of Catan, though, if I do say so myself.
I’m reminded of a time earlier this year when a surprising amount of things in my life were completely different. It was a Wednesday night and I’d invited Jacob and Michaela over. We had ended up playing Settlers together. Sigh. Those hangout times had becoming a regular thing for us then… It wasn’t bad either. It had been refreshing to get together after those drawn out days at school and long hours at IHOP. Sometimes we’d go to the park, and often we did other outdoor activities, but we always watched a good movie in my basement.

Difference of Time

2009-05-25T12:07:00.000-07:00

A story by a special friend.

The days of summer have grown short and cold. Autumn's breath is wet and humidity gathers on us like a blanket, seeping into our hair. She leaves for work the same time every morning. I sometimes stare at her in admiration, but she doesn't notice me. I stay at home for the majority of the day sleeping, but keeping an eye on things. When I hear the great lock grinding, I come to greet her warmly at the door. She is a beautiful and loving girl. I have yet to meet another quite like her. She takes care of me and makes sure that I am always comfortable.

The days are longer now. The sun takes its time in the sky, casting lazy shadows across the earth. My nap times are more frequent, a sign that summer is on its. Usually the days go well, but sometimes troubles find their way into our humble lives. I still remember the night she arrived with tears in her eyes. She stayed up late crying in her bed. I didn't ask why---I couldn't possibly---but I made sure that I was there to give her solace. I knew she needed that.

It is a fine morning; I stretch as the sunlight greets me through the windows and the curtains blow, brushing my whiskers. I look around. She is still in bed. This sort of thing has never happened before. I didn't understand it, but how could I? Her melancholy continued for a week or so, and during that time, so did her late mornings. Eventually this odd season passed and things returned to normal.

Lately I’ve spent my days on the porch, listening to the grass dance in the breeze and watching the clouds shift in the sky. She decides to go on a walk, and I decide to join her. After walking for what seemed like hours, though I enjoyed every minute, we came to the beach. It spanned across the horizon, merging with the ocean. The wind blowing and tugging on the waves as they spread their fingers into the sand to take back what was theirs. Now sitting beside her, I gazed out at and in this moment I was content. I felt like I understood some greater meaning of the universe, while at the same time I felt so very small and simple. Burying my feet into the warm beach, I thought to myself, "I,...and her too..., I think...I think that we might like this world."

Finishing Highschool

2009-05-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

Six Flags was an experience. We got up early and left to pick up Liz Robertson and Michaela. It was still early when we got there, so there wasn’t that big of a crowd yet. Michaela, Rachel, Chris and I met Ben on our way to Goliath. There were njolines yet, so Michaela and I rode it twice, once in front. What fun. It’s my favorite. I make Rachel ride the Acrophobia, and on the way down, she tried to scream, but all I heard was a weak “Blargh!”
WE laughed about that for the next ten minutes.
Later we saw some of our friends there: Tim, Emily, Kayla, McKenzie, Caitlin, and Noah. Even Conner was there. Not to mention that I saw the young man who inspired the “fatty freshmen song” in line for the Mind Bender. Good times. He said “Hey, didn’t you go to Teen Pact?”
“Don’t remind me…” I replied. It was hilarious to see him there, and I couldn’t help hearing the beat in my head.
Michaela and Ben rode the Scorcher eight times in a row and almost broke a ten time record. Chris played a ring toss game, but he didn’t catch any bottles. He still won a turtle for all his efforts.
The best part: Playing DDR and doing Speed Over Beethoven over and over again. I PWN at that. Some people stopped and watched, but they totally threw off my groove. On the way home we stopped by Chic-fil-A because I NEEDED a milkshake, but it ended up being way too sweet. Also, let me say that it was my WORST hair day EVER.
Anyways, I went to Stephanie’s graduation ceremony on Saturday at the Mew Mercies Church. I saw Jonathan and Tyler there; Jonathan lost some weight since the last time I saw him. I enjoyed being there for Steph’s support. Her mom bought her a plethora of balloons and fresh flowers. I left earlier than the others to go to Meredith’s Blessing Ceremony. Kate gave me a goodbye with another of her meaningful glares. Sometimes I wish I knew what she was thinking… I got home, changed, and left. We parked at the Atlantic Station and her ceremony was in one of the nice clubs in a skyscraper.
She looked brilliant in her white dress. She’d gotten everything ready in perfect shape. I told Mrs. Ugan I missed her- I haven’t seen much of her since I transferred from her drama classes. She isn’t the only one who’s suffered from my parent’s beliefs. Dad told Tyler and Kate that they couldn’t come to my graduation.
On Sunday, after I’d worked on my PreCal review for a while, I went over to Monica’s for a Mother’s Day dinner. I got to spend some time along with Jonathan- It was good for me. Hannah was beautiful in her yellow dress, with her belly showing clearly while she twirled in the swing, her bare feet kicking around the wood chips.
I went to church that night. Michaela gave me a leather bracelet she had bought me at Atlantic Station while shopping with the girls. Then we went to the back offices and talked for the next hour and a half. These are the times that come to mind randomly when I’m off living life. During service Ernie fussed at Genel in front of the whole youth group for whispering to Meredith. She had to though, so he shouldn’t have. He gave us the story of his engagement and it was actually interesting. We teased Meredith that night about being an official “woman”. Then she showed her capabilities and found the end of a lip rind Michaela had lost in the dark. We decided that I’m her “IHOPOP”.
Yesterday I took my PreCal exam and it was a complete nightmare. At least I passed the class and I don’t have anymore finals today- or ever, until college. I have to give my computer science presentation tomorrow and dissect a pig in Physiology class, then it’s all over until graduation.
Steph and the rest left for Panama City yesterday, the Lord knows they all needed a vacation.

Medieval Fair

2009-05-07T19:24:00.000-07:00

We went to the time period fair at Master's Academy yesterday. Since it was supposed to be a Medieval Fair, all of my friends and classmates were dressed up accordingly. OK, I was dressed up too, I admit it.
It was hot when we got there, but the sun stated to hide and it gradually got cool enough to breath comfortably. I worked in the face painting booth with Rachel and Emily for the majority my time there. Many of the children who came wanted butterflies painted on their faces, but some picked flowers, hearts, and even tigers.
The food was interesting. Out of everyone, I stayed around McKenzie the most. Later, I painted eyes on her eyelids, like Jack Sparrow, and everybody freaked out when she walked around with her eyes closed.
Right now I'm in the only place I can get away from my youth leader: in the bathroom. The rest of the youth group has been watching the Passion of the Christ, but I can't say that idea is very appealing to me. He already found me in the corner of a back room peacefully using my computer, without doing any harm to anyone, so this stall is my new and improved hiding place. I daresay, if you have something interesting enough at your disposal to do, you can spend quite some time “hibernating” by yourself. My parents recently termed it that, since I've been closed up in my room a lot these past few days. Unfortunately, this habit is not at all conducive to any sort of healthy relationship, as my brothers and especially my father have learned.
We're planning on going to Six Flags over Georgia again for Homeschool Day this Friday. When I scheduled my driver's license test for the 8th, I had forgotten about Six Flags, so I'm going to have to reschedule it... I hope I pass it.

Springtime's Eve

2009-05-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

I brought my physiology book to IHOP today. Mainly because I haven't covered what I need to know for the finals next week. While I struggled through the first pages of module 10, I asked Rachel if her friends had come. She said they weren't coming, and that she couldn't call them because she got grounded from her cell phone "for staying up late texting people, and then lying about it". Apparently, dad stalks my sibling's cell phone activity via the internet.
Anyways, after hearing that bit of news, I laid my head back to sulk, and I saw a flash of brilliant purple. So Rachel was wrong! Michaela chatted some with Rachel, who showed her the newly created masterpieces in her music book. She had her hair pinned up in the back, because she didn't like the present length of it. She told me later that she was getting it cut in a few days so it wouldn't be "petarded".
How ridiculous.
we went to the pancake house last night after church. I sat with Micah and ordered a steak omelet. Poor Caleb had his food swindled because it looked so appetizing to everyone else at the table. He did get an appetizer meal, after all. Petard and Micah embarrassed me by dancing to the old school rock they had on, so I kindly asked the waitress to pour some iced water on their heads, but she didn't take me seriously. I didn't tip her.
Petard ruined everything again earlier this evening while we were on our way home. He randomly told my mom that he had discovered a single black hair on his nipple, and then proceeded to show her his "fat belly". She just gave him her signature reply: "You don't say such things in front of ladies, but you should talk about it with your father."
When we got home, I finished up the chicken I had soaked in the acid sauce for four hors and grilled it. The whole family enjoyed the fajitas and pineapple cherry dump cake I made. Except for Caleb, who was visiting Isaiah. Should I be a cook? Nah.

Field of Grass

2009-04-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the annual IHOP spring picnic. Michaela spent the night for the first time in a while on Friday night, and in the morning she and Rachel wore beautiful dresses. It was bright and hot when we arrived at the Rock Ridge Park Pavilion. It would be safe to say that most of the IHOP community, family, and staff were there. After about half an hour, Mr. Billy said prayer, and we all grabbed some food. There was a good variety; almost everybody brought their own side and some brought desert. There were hamburgers, hotdogs, salads, chips, and other delectable sides. D’Arcy was there. I first saw her sitting at a white table with Michaela. They enjoy each other. I believe she came early to help Amy Stokes set up and get everything ready, so when I saw her, she had a bandana around her hair. Genel came in short shorts unlike the girls, because she planned on playing soccer with the IHOP team. Sarah Bachtel came while we were eating, with her large, harmonious family. Judea and Kayla were also there, playing random sports in the grass. A while after we ate, I convinced the girls to go on a walk- a pastime I’ve grown fond of. I walked with Michaela (with Steven stubbornly tagging along), and Judea walked ahead with Laura, Jackie, Rachel and maybe Genel. There was a medium sized steel bridge after a few hundred yards of walking. It hung over a pathetically small creek that ran insignificantly through the middle of a wide ditch. Eventually, I ended up with Michaela. We kept walking, and it was hard not to enjoy the quiet paths. Once we reached a wooden, smaller bridge, we waited a bit and started walking back. I talked with Rachel about some recurring drama that overwhelmed her, and Michaela gave Steven company behind us. We discussed a solution to her problems, but I had to settle for comforting her instead. She did cheer up though, when Mike Darling crossed our path. He took her away as his model, and I tagged along with Meredith back down the same path. We met Querida and Adrianne, then Liz and Ashley, and finally made our way to the pavilion to get something to drink. We then found out that not enough people had brought drinks and the only thing left was warm water. I drank some and walked around, taking pictures. Some time later, Mike Darling had me help him do a photo op of Michaela with my walking stick. It took longer than I had expected, and we ended up in the middle of a surprisingly green field of tall grass.

Let it Leak

2009-04-14T14:38:00.000-07:00

I had found, by Grace, the Flame of Life, which I’d held in the palm of my hand. Life is so long without this gift. So slow, unable to hold love. I did what is human; I tried to tame this Energy, to keep it for myself. I built a cage around us, but its freedom died away. It left and I was alone. I waited; I could only believe it would return. I meditated; I could have done something wrong,
Just another hour, just another bright thought and I could draw it near again. Finally, I lay; dry, on the ground, helpless and weary, drained from this hopeless pursuit. A breeze blew a whisper by my ear, “Just let go, it’s never helped to be closed off, bitter, and bored. Open up, let it all in, then you’ll find me too.” I looked up to the sky; it held no better advice than this thought, tainted with risk. The lock on the cage shook with a metallic ring, threatening to hold me in, to drive me to despair like it had so many others. Maybe he’s right. I’ll just step out again- so I did. The first few steps outside were rough, I had my pride to lose. But with each step, my lungs were filled with that familiar air. I ran through the tall grass, across the plains filled with the light of the sun. Then His presence, the One, the Flame, ran beside me, his smile came inside of me and I realized. I was not alone.

Ice Cold Poison

2009-04-08T14:19:00.000-07:00

The wholeness of me is the dreary wanderer, walking through a field of confused puddles to the better days. I see those pictures, they work with gravity, then I hear those songs, and they fuse with heat. Then something inside of me plunges itself into a misty vault of cold poison. I feel awake, until this immersion into insanity drives away the sleep. I say insanity, because
love is not love after so much hurt. After my deceptions, all I have are the happenings inside, the churnings of the soul. The indescribable that affects every fiber I call my own. If only not to return to the sleepy, withered life, I swim deeper. I wrestle with my numb, tired limbs farther into this state of mind that has no name.
Would he care? Does it matter? I just can’t let this go. I feel alive with every fresh wound his absence creates. He’ll be here soon to patch them up. Closed in, I’m alone in this knowledge. How could they know? It’s all a sweet flight to those on top; they can’t see the sinking weight that holds me together. I take off the mantle to pay my dues, and then I fall back in, every time deeper.

In the Dark

2009-04-06T14:27:00.001-07:00

I couldn’t remember a time when I’d wanted to hurt someone so much as when I watched him wrap his arms around her, the dripping grin plastered on his face. He had chased her all that night, closing in on this bright-eyed prey. His hands were aged, rough, agents of sin. Stepping out onto the porch, I took a deep breath. Nobody wanted me to lose it, especially not here. I leaned on the railing, trying to maintain control of my mind.
She walked out, her cousin with her. I have no doubt she knew exactly what I felt, the surge of violent thoughts my brain could barely process causing my muscles to clench. Later that night, I suppressed the memories that haunted, threatening to make me a murderer. If only he knew- he was so close to the edge.
“Not with mine,” I repeated. “Not with me.”
Love is dangerous, I know. If his angel still lives, it should tell him what burns inside, lest it consume him. This feeling has no weight, but would bear down an army of men; crushing their bodies beyond repair. It is the identity of God, the definition of anger.
He dances with jealousy.

"I"

2009-04-06T14:19:00.001-07:00

just be slow. go with the flow. don’t be stupid, be yourself. find yourself. don’t wait, but be patient. be too cool. don’t be afraid. take control. it’s yours, but be careful. yes, no, but don’t give in.
it’ll happen if it should. if you do, than I will, but follow me. don’t leave, but move on. don’t overuse it- I’ll keep it in mind. don’t think you can’t change, just don’t call it that and you will.
stick with me and you will learn. Take as much as you want, I have it all. he will lie, but don’t give in. yes, no, but I can. never sell your feelings- the truth. quick maturity takes some stretching, sometimes it breaks. with me you’ll be safe. just don’t let go, but do move on- to let me in. to take the change. the good stuff. get angry. don’t hate. they’re all bad, just waiting to be good. put these on. they’ll help. for a little while. then give them to me- only I can make them work. you’ll laugh, but though you feel pain, you won’t cry. or will you? it’s good. if I’m not there, just remember- you can do it, just be safe. be yourself. take me in. how will you? you’re doing it right now. just don’t be afraid. the door’s not closed; you need to take off your hand. it’s whenever you think f me. every time different, impossible to recur. I love you when you’re real. don’t get confused, because I understand. always more than you think. do you have to walk it to block this insanity; this lack of love can never last. take that away. I will burn it off. sit there and I’ll play, let the hours pass. don’t be afraid, don’t want but me. that stuff’s old, you can throw it away. you must. but don’t forget- I have enough. maybe not soppy, but I’ll always flow. like I said, I’ll just go with it. when your eyes turn, sometimes mine will. and when they touch, it will be worth your wondering. your wandering within the dirty. you’re scared of falling but I’m trying to teach. you’ll get it, you’ll follow. when they’re depressed. then I’m the strongest. then feel the breeze- it’ll let you smile. Send the smile to your lips, to give your eyes the sweet depth. you think I’m deep? I’m half that, but completely cool. take this for me- we’ll save it for later- for when you lay, I’ll bring you up. I’ll stay in you, standing strong and pure. it’ll wash you clean, but you’ll have to say that you’ll give it a try. you’ll fail, I’ll win, then it will work out. they can’t tell you, it’s just not true. their laughing scowls, don’t let them in. keep your space, it’ll stay so special. wherever you look, I’ll work with wonder. with that secure hinting you love so much. what makes you feel will affect. just don’t let them control if you want to get my ride. yes, they are going too. you don’t need that either. you know what you need. I know. I am. I’ll give you time.

Kat

2009-04-05T13:47:00.000-07:00

She slammed her books onto her desk.
“I can’t believe she ate my yogurt! That’s all I brought to eat today because my mom didn’t let me bring any lunch!”
Her scowl was unpleasant, only because we were all so used to seeing her smile.
“I don’t think she meant to make you mad,” I coaxed. “McKenzie was probably just hungry and didn’t know that was your only food.”
“What.a.freak.” She continued.
“What’s wrong?” Asked Daniel, walking in, followed by Bekah and Kayla.
“Kat has no food.” I explained.
Kat glared at the wall.
“I’m going to QT, you want something?” Daniel always went to QT, and he had a habit of asking everyone this same question.
Kat looked relieved. She asked him for a hotdog, but it took her about fifteen minutes to communicate which specific kind of hotdog she wanted. Then she came and sat down.
I watched her as she picked up her sewing needle and Indian patterned jacket.
This girl, who stood independent, away from the common crowd, with her own beliefs and prejudices, appeared to be invincible. There were, however, times such as these when she let her guard down, whether because of exhaustion or some other reason, and life’s simple trials drew her worst.
I guess that’s what we’re here for, I thought, so that she doesn’t loose too many feathers to fly.

Summer 2008

2008-06-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

This is the ten day account of our summer 2008 vacation through the eastern states of the US.
Both Rachel and I wrote entries, and they're relatively interesting, but mostly boring. Also, there some embarrasing moments, but we didn't edit them... much- for the purpose of keeping it as real as possible.
Rachel wrote the sections with the plain font, and I wrote everything itlicized.

Day 1-Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Good morning! It’s 9:30 in the morning, starting our road trip. It’s getting started off hairy. The reason for me saying this is because Josiah, Chris, and I are all sitting in the front-middle row in the white odyssey. Chris’s hairy legs are like… right next to mine-we’ve only been on the road for ten minutes, and we’re already stopping for gas. The family is trying to name my dad’s GPS. My dad says that “Jill” sounds suitable, so that’s what we’ll call it. For school this next year, I have summer reading and one of my books is Joan of Arc. I brought the book, and my mom is reading us a small portion, just to tantalize us. So, now we’re off again. Roads and more roads. And we’ve only been gone twenty minutes. Yeah, we’re definitely not even out of Georgia yet. Peter is sneezing a lot, so my mom just passed him the entire box of tissues. Chris is chugging coke to my right, and to his right, Josiah is staring at the road, trying to recover from our early wake-up call. Dad is driving, and mom, in the passenger’s seat is reading a book Josiah gave her named A call to purity. Peter and Caleb are playing their game systems, and I’m writing this trip journal. My dad’s GPS says that we’re supposed to arrive at our destination by 5:45 pm. But I just asked dad where our destination for today is, and he said he doesn’t know. So, I’ll write more later on.
Okay, so now it’s 10:27 am. I’ve done absolutely nothing since I last wrote I last wrote, but I think I’ll text Sarah or something. We’re about to cross border onto South Carolina. Now we’re in South Carolina. It’s10:50 am. Just for side notes, we just passed Lake Hartwell… It’s really low. There’s the Shelton Fireworks Warehouse. That place is huge. Nothing too exciting so far, let’s see, I’ll tell you what I’m wearing for posterity’s sake. Okay, I’m wearing a green Awakening Teen Camp shirt that Josiah bought for me when he was gone. Oh, and my dark gray sweatpants. I have one hoop earring in my second hole on my right ear, and my face has nothing on it. One black hair tie, one blue one (that was flung at me), a rubber band, and my LIFE bracelet are on my right wrist. Oh, boy! We’re passing a chicken truck and Josiah is videotaping them. He must like chickens. Wow, the truck driver is laughing at him.
It’s now 12:39 pm, and my stomach hurts. I’m mega hungry! We’ve just passed the North Carolina border. Mom and dad keep making lame jokes about who does what first in North Carolina, but the way I see it is, everything here looks pretty much the same as in Georgia. Wait, never mind, there are mountains here. Ok, so it is different. I could have gotten some nice mountain pictures, but Josiah and Chris are blocking my view to King Mountain to my right. There! Mom is taking some for me. Anyways for the past few hours, I’ve been reading that Joan of Arc book. Oh! By the way it is very humid in this car thanks to all the human breath. Sigh. I want to eat soon. Sick…
Wow, we just got out of a so called “restaurant” called “The Shrimp and Chicken Boat”. That says enough. The lady who was frying our food was smoking the whole time. Also, when I asked for a Sierra Mist, she pushed the button and a bunch of gross brown stuff came out… Josiah and I were cracking up, and then I told the lady I’d just take the bottled drink instead. Honestly, that was the WORST place I’ve ever been to eat at.
Oh, so it’s now 1:50 pm and we are on the road again. Chris and I just told Josiah to toss the remains of his fried okra (which smells like cigarettes) out the window; but of course, it would be littering. Going back to reading my book now! It’s 2:58 pm, and Josiah and I are passing the time by writing a story about Mega Cat and his super companion, Mini Kit. It’s really random, but that’s what makes it fun. Yeah, so I feel greasy from that lunch place. North Carolina is big on the tobacco industry, or so say my parents. Aw! We just passed some wonderful orange wildflowers! Flowers make me happy… When they’re not dead… Good news: I’m feeling less queasy. Bad news: This car smells like dirty socks. Huh. Josiah just stuck an earphone in my right ear, and his iPod is playing “God bless the broken road”. Finally! That song is over! Chris is taking pictures of himself, and Josiah and I are going to write more.
Okay, 5:34 pm now. Josiah has almost lost his mind; he’s drawing morbid pictures of teddy bears being hung. We’re about two miles away from the Virginia State line. Yep, now we’re in Virginia. We’re on a bridge, crossing over a lake. I was right; Josiah has officially lost his mind… He’s making up new planets and drawing their inhabitants. Huh, and we still have two hours left. Stop the madness! Now he’s making a map of our car ride and laughing. It’s 5:44 pm and I’m still bored. Nothing much to see out the window… Once you’ve seen one road and one tree, you’ve pretty much seen them all. My parents are talking about us staying at a Virginia Beach hotel tonight, but who knows? I miss Georgia already, and this is only day one. Busying myself with Kissables and I’ve already devoured my moon pie. 5:50 pm, I’m still bored, but maybe I’ll see something cool. 5:51 pm- Actually, it’s really pretty outside. There are lots of fields and trees and some houses. 5:58 pm- Thinking… Now its 5:59 pm, and we’re still on a road. Not just any road, mind you, but a totally hick town road. No kidding! There are bales of hay in a pasture to my right. Okay, my cell phone just vibrated, let’s see what’s up! Sarah just texted me with a picture of her, and the text reads: “This is me missing you.” What!? I thought that we left Georgia to get away, but we’re in Lawrenceville again. Oh… Lawrenceville, Virginia. I’m really getting tired of Peter singing, because he’s been singing the same song since we left. It’s giving me a headache. We just passed a sign that almost made me cry. It said, “Virginia Beach: 113 Miles”. Oh! I didn’t mention that about ten minutes ago, Josiah read all that I’ve written here aloud to the family. They were cracking up. But you tell me, what is funny about being stuck in a car for eight hours straight?! A cloud slowly floats across the sky and is then joined by its brother and sister clouds. Josiah and Chris are playing slide and Josiah is counting out loud. Really, Josiah! Chris is going into tenth grade, he can count. Oh, my mom just pointed out a tobacco field! How generic. My wrist hurts, and so I shall retire to read more for a while.
Rachel’s eating more acne food, a.k.a. Hershey’s Kisses. Chris is complaining that his butt itches while dad says to watch out for tractors. Wow, this is a hick town. I thought that the more south you went, the more hick it was supposed to get but it seems that the more north we go, the more hicks we see dying from lung cancer. “Uh! I found an eyelash!” Exclaims Rachel, reading her boring school book. My parents are wondering why it’s taking us so much longer than we expected… Maybe I should let them know that it’s because we keep stopping every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom. Peter keeps tapping his aggravating drumsticks and Rachel keeps scratching herself, I wonder why? Mom just commented one a “pretty” mustard colored house… I think that fish sandwich is affecting her. Peter won’t stop singing that song… It’s 6:24 pm, and Rachel just found something remotely amusing in her schoolbook, now I know something’s up. Usually she hates school! Mom says that there’s only two hours left until Virginia Beach, funny she said that an hour ago. Me and Rachel just realized that all the scenery here is exactly the same as in Georgia. Dad wants us to come up with two foods that would taste horrible together. I came up with Chili and Cherries, and he said that it’s pretty good. Chris just called Caleb a “Play Artist”, which makes me, wonder what exactly that term means. Dad just told him that he couldn’t have anymore soda for the whole trip, because he keeps saying that he’s sick. Dad blames all sicknesses on caffeine and Chris says caffeine doesn’t affect him. Mom just suggested chocolate chip cookies and dill pickles, but I think mine is grosser.
Its 6:33 and there are still a lot of trees outside. Dad is trying to teach me how to use Jill but I’m not going to let him know that I just like to ask stupid questions. Mom is wondering why people started putting steeples on Churches and dad is wondering why they’re called steeples. Hmmmm… I think that they are at a lack for entertainment. Peter wants his bible. Mom is wondering if Nick will remember to feed our pets or if they’ll die from hunger, I mean, he should, we paid him five bucks for it. Gas costs $3.99 per gallon here. Chris is saying that he hates bumpy roads, but I’m pretty sure that he hates just about everything right now. Maybe I can do something to cheer him up. Dad still has those darned glasses on, if I could find my rockstar glasses, I would lend them to him. We passed by a prison a while ago, it was sort of depressing. Chris is complaining that his butt is sweating, so he fixed it by putting his pillow under his butt… I hope nobody puts their face on that… Rachel is singing that song yet again.
Well, we got Chris to laugh by reading him what Josiah just wrote. I don’t know where we are, but I’m pretty sure it’s in the middle of nowhere, Virginia. Josiah just said something about our family devotions being fun. He is screeching in Spanish and he just said, “Hey Chris, are you thirsty? Would you like a big cup of SHUTUP?” Mom almost died of laughter; she must have that that was amusing. Mom just said that the only thing worse than this scenery is a desert. Chris is claiming constipation because of that “restaurant”. Corn! Shh.. Their ears can hear you. But no! No stopping this family from talking. My mom suspected good scenery up ahead, but we just read a sign saying “swamp”. And Josiah starts his “Jaws” music and inhales dramatically, “Oh, no! A giant tuna fish!” Luckily, Peter and Caleb have been mostly quite this trip. My mom claims that we’re “less than an hour away”… so I’ll give us about two and a half hours. Looking for inspiration outside… I’m now officially inspired to draw a picture of a landfill. It’s 6:58 pm now, Chris asks if we’re there yet. We’ve just passed an “Industrial Field”. What does that mean? I just had to remove a hair that was stuck to my face because it was so greasy. Dad is entertained with Jill. I’m dizzy, but maybe it’s because I’m inhaling carbon monoxide. Okay, not really, because we’d all be dead and this family is anything but that.
There’s this sad house-church in the middle of a cemetery. Chris says his breath stinks but I think he just wants some of moms gum. Caleb and he asked for some but she refused to acquiesce. Rachel just saw a deer and now she’s wiping her greasy face off on my shoulder. This is NOT necessary. She blames it on the “grease-fillet”. We’re all pretty much getting woozy off Chris’s "extravagant flatulence", as Hannah would say. Dad just locked the windows… Mom commented that it smells like porta potties in here and I have to say that I agree with her. I have come to the decision-If dad does not open the windows soon, we’ll all die horrible deaths caused by suffocation. Rachel is contentedly playing with her belly chub, but all I can think about is this horrid smell. Yay! I just realized that dad took off his glasses! Now I can see where his eyes are in the mirror. I always feel like he’s watching me and I can’t tell if he is or not… I just saw a bar named “The Happy Horse”. I think these country people have gone off the edge. Someone is selling a semi truck in their back yard, so I think they must have upgraded to a normal truck. It’s very pretty and country-ish here. Mom says that another forty five minutes is all that she’ll be able to travel for today. We’re listening to Ian’s song. Rachel and Chris just burped and I said eww. Mom said something about clam salad and soup and it made us in the back want to hurl. Chris just said he had thought we were in South Dakota and seriously, I don’t know how we could possibly be anywhere near there… Chris confuses me sometimes. I’m counting how many steeples I see, so far there’ve been 8. Chris bought a dollar at the gas station for five dollars. Hmm… Something about that seems off… There are a lot of swamps here in Virginia. Chris just realized that we’re not getting to Virginia Beach at 5:30 pm anymore. It’s 7:41 and Jill keeps adding hours to our arrival time, I think she’s mad at us.
My hair has decided to stick to itself. Really, I can’t wait until we get to the hotel. Warm shower, drinking water, and a bed. What else can we ask for?
We’re going through a really cool tunnel which is goes down to 139 feet below sea level. Oh no! Jill just died! The Chesapeake Bay killed her. We just passed the Virginia Shipyard and some random huge baseball field. Oh, I just saw another two steeples. I’ve seen 10 so far. Yay, only 14 minutes left. Jill says that we’ve been traveling for 11 hours but only driving for 8. We just saw a super cool public park with swans and cool scenery. Chris is assuring me that I’ll love New England if I like this. We keep seeing FAT Jets getting ready for landing over us and they’re making dad get kind of excited. Another steeple, so that makes it 11.
Neat! The jets (just spotted a few more) are everywhere right now! Man, that would be an awesome thing to do. 12 steeples so far. My dad claims that we’re close to the ocean. Only time will tell, I suppose. Are we there yet?! Jill says only five more minutes. Everything suddenly got nicer looking, but it could be deception! There are beach shops here that look like ones in Florida. I can’t wait until we get to the beach tomorrow. It’s going to be the bomb! Rest and relaxation, here we come! (For one day, at least) 8:15 pm, and we’re approaching a food place. Let’s eat!
It’s 10:30 pm, now, and we’re in our hotel room. We’re staying on the penthouse floor where you can see pretty much everything below and the beautiful sea beyond. WE kids have already gone and walked on the shore. Peter chased the waves, and Josiah and I took pictures of each other and the beach. It’s so pretty here, and I don’t think that the water should be too cold tomorrow. Okay, turning in for the night. Goodnight!
When we got closer to the beach, there started to be more and more people. After hanging out at the beach for a while, we walked along the sidewalk and had dinner at a Southern European restaurant called “Dough Boy”. It was amazing and when we finished and came to our Suite rooms, we were able to freshen up. We look forward to hanging our at the beach tomorrow.

Day 2

Good evening! It’s 7:06 pm, and I am tired! What a day! So, I shall try to get things as straight as I can and start from the beginning. Well, Josiah woke up all up this morning at 7:45, saying “Wake up! It’s eleven!”. We all slowly woke up (except Caleb, who took more convincing) and got out of bed. Our sleeping arrangements were fair. Josiah got his own pull-out bed which was located near the air conditioning. Chris slept in a sleeping bag right next to the a-c. I’m pretty sure that Peter and Caleb shared a bed last night. Of course, I slept on the floor at the foot of Peter and Caleb. The floor wasn’t too cold, or even too hard, but I woke up feeling exhausted. Sometimes that’s what happens, though, when you sleep on floors. Anyways, we woke up at 7:45 and got up to get dressed and such. Right after that, we all ate some breakfast that my mom had stored for us the day of our leaving. I personally ate a blueberry muffin. It wasn’t the best thing I’ve eaten, but it sure beats that gross Shrimp and Chicken Boat any day! Caleb quickly fully woke up when he smelled the muffins and remembered where we were. The whole family walked to the beach, which is adjacent to the hotel. This beach is big! The sand seems to stretch on for...ever! We swam some, tanned some, ate some, and walked some. It really just depends on who you were mostly hanging out with during the day to say exactly which thing you did the most. It’s been a long day so far, and now I find myself sprawled out on one of the pull-out beds near the window. The boys are watching the television while I am typing this thing up. I’m pretty sure that Josiah is sleeping, but it could just be another fake to get out of having to talk to everybody. Sometimes that seems like something that would be useful to do, but I can’t fake being asleep in the middle of the day. I’m all showered off, and waiting to eat some dinner. All we have to do is wait for dad to finish taking his shower, and then we are going out to eat. I’m glad we are about to go and eat, because I am totally hungry now. After eating, I’ve sure worked up an appetite. But I wish you were here so that you could see the beach, because it’s quite a fantastic sight. The water is now starting to become high tide because of the time of day, but when we went to the beach this morning, the tide was out. Josiah just moved! Maybe he’s awake! It’s a sign! Oh! Another sign! My dad just came out of the shower! Food! Okay, hopefully I’ll write more later!

Day 3

Goodmorning. It’s 9:54 am. Chris and Josiah are already at the beach. We just looked out the window, and all the lifeguards are doing a swimming exercise. I guess it’s so they stay in shape. Caleb, Peter and dad just left for the beach too. By the looks of things, it’s just me and my mom. I’m pretty mad because I stayed in the sun yesterday for so many hours and I’m still no even the least bit tan. I don’t want to go to the beach today though, I’d rather just write about all the fun we had yesterday. So much fun we skipped writing a whole day! Well, I guess I’ll go pack or something. Wait… Josiah and Chris just walked in. They came back early because Chris was bleeding and Josiah didn’t want to attract the sharks. Yesterday, the only things we saw in the water were dead gnats and scary jellyfish. One of them chased Josiah, so he said, and of course, he fled. Oh boy… Josiah just turned on the Spanish TV channel. Don’t even ask me what they’re talking about. He says he only likes it because it’s in Spanish. Now he’s going to take a shower. Yay! Muffins! I just ate a muffin. So… all I hear is Hispanic people arguing on our TV. No, I don’t even hear the ocean! There’s something wrong with that. Josiah is now out of the shower… I’m outside trying to get some kind of a tan right now. From this viewpoint, I can see the ocean and everything that comes with it. I’m looking for Peter, Caleb and dad. Found them. By the looks of things, it looks like they’re coming back to the hotel. Yep, they are. Josiah and I got their attention. They’re showering off. Now they are washing their stuff off… and coming towards the hotel. I see a person jogging down below. And there is a family taking pictures. Going back inside. Caleb, Peter and dad just came in. My mom must have gotten in the shower, because she’s not anywhere in here. The three boys that just walked in are dripping wet. “Caleb thinks he’s two years old still. He wants to jump in the shower with mom and dad.”, is what I hear Josiah saying. I am going to join them. Bye!
It’s 11:16 and we’re in the car again. Jill says that we should arrive at our destination by 5:28 pm, but we all know that means that we’ll be there by about 8:00 pm instead. Jill sounds Australian, dad keeps changing her accent. Everybody is pretty emotional this morning. Already, Jill has changed our arrival time to 5:30 pm. Here we go again! The car next to us has a sticker on it that says “We Buy Houses”. Caleb is staring out the window, looking extremely tired. Peter is reading a book.. My ears are randomly popping. Josiah has his hands folded, and is talking matter-of-factly about government and military. I just choose to believe him because he knows more than I do anyways. He just called our car “cool”, there must be something wrong with him. Peter just passed like… ten tissues to Chris. Josiah just said that for the fourth of July we should be free of Muslims and abortion. Dad was saying that we must trust Jill even though she got us stuck in traffic. More later.
People in our family are confused as to what to call Jill but I personally think that they are unnecessarily challenged, when Jill is a perfectly good name. Oh, she just charted a trip that made us go across a bridge that charges $12.00. Dad is saying that it’s a special bridge that is worth $12.00 to pass but the rest of us are having a hard time believing him. Yay, a world famous bridge, it’s weird that I’ve never heard of it. Just like that world famous juggler last night with the jokes that only dad laughed at, and I had never heard of him. I must have lived under a rock like Patrick all my life. We’re going into a tunnel again, but this one is longer than the other one. So the people that we have the $12.00 to have us a coupon for a free beverage but we didn’t stop for it because we figure they just want to charge us another $5.00 to get on the pier. Peter is looking at the map for some reason. Jill added another 7 minutes… Sometimes I wonder why we do everything she says when she’s constantly lying about the time and making us pay extra toll money. I just took a movie of another long tunnel we went through. Chris keeps whining about mom’s head always being in his way so he can’t take pictures of the tall bridges… There are islands here, they seem pretty cool. Caleb saw a few sailboats and now he’s trying to convince us that they’re shark fins. Mom says the water color is pretty here, compared to the dark green fish pee we swam in for two days. So, it’s 12:00 on the dot and we just got onto Fisherman Island. It’s super nice and wild and nobody lives here. Mom says it reminds her of Galveston. So, tall grass is really green on this Island and there are many marshes. Dad says that we’re officially out of Virginia but Jill says we still have another hour and a half. Which one of them should I believe? I think I should believe mom. What is she saying? Nothing… and that is the precise reason I’ll believe her… To the right of our car there are lots of dead trees, but Rachel doesn’t understand how the marsh could have killed them. Mom and I convinced dad to stop by the tourist center so we could be educated on the wildlife of Fisherman Island. It looks fun, but Chris says there’s no point in stopping. Maybe there is a point since they have a bathroom and he always wants to use it.
I say there was a point. It was cute. Mom is mocking Jill. I think she’s jealous because dad keeps putting it on… Josiah says that Chris should be a juggler when he grows up. Josiah is talking about dying in Carolina from the large waves. He says that if they don’t kill him, the jellyfish and terrible taste of salt water will. To our left are white houses with red roofs. Josiah wonders if the people living there are Amish. Oh! And there is a blue roofed house! How quaint. Everybody in our car is talking about potatoes. Josiah and I want a potato for lunch. Josiah is telling us that he dreamed he was wearing my dad’s sunglasses with a white button up shirt. This place is pretty ghetto, and we’re still in Virginia. There’s a big field to our left… and a big field to our right. Field, field, field, field, field. So on and so forth. 13 steeples. Jill says that we’ll be arriving at our destination by 6:01 pm now. There is corn to my left and my right. This place seems to be an unending ocean of fields. Chris just asked if this is the “corn state”. It’s 12:30 pm, and my
stomach is growling. I wonder why we get so hungry when we’re just sitting down all day… Hunger pains strike again! Oh, boy. A fried chicken shop! I’m scared that if I eat anymore hick town food, I’ll start to become one. Another shop selling ham, bacon, and corn. A flock of white birds just settled on a field to the left. Chris is singing. Josiah is talking about PF Chang’s. Peter just talked! He’s alive! Chris is taking pictures of the fields. Dad predicted something. Josiah just claimed that a bush looks like bologna. Okay, where are we? Oh, still in Virginia. Go figure… Jill is helping anything, she stopped talking. There’s a large cemetery to our right. “No wonder nobody is here! They’re all dead! There are graves in the middle of corn fields so they must have died plowing their fields…. Sad story”, sighs Josiah sarcastically… My wrist hurts. I’ll write more later on.
Rachel says she’s hungry and mom is telling her to fast. Dad says his stomach speaks to him so I say that explains a lot… We’re supposed to het there at 6:02 pm. We just saw some weird planter things and dad asked me what I thought they planted in them. Chris replied “Corn!” for me. Dad is squeezing mom’s leg again… Between that and Jill I don’t think he even notices the time go by. Dad just asked her why they have children. I feel so loved. We’re going to Taco Bell. Wow, that was an experience. I ordered an enchirito, and they gave me an empanada. So gross. Mom keeps talking about Indians and scalping, which isn’t giving me the best digestion. Now she’s talking about somebody smashing their fingers. Groan. We passed a pond named after the Kellers. Mom says we’re on an island peninsula. Dad just made a joke that I didn’t hear. Lawl.
Josiah and Chris are singing a Hawaiian song. Small problem… We’re not in Hawaii. So, Josiah gave me his empanada from Taco Bell. It tasted like fried batter with a plastic covering that was oozing apple bits.
Caleb wants to know if we’re out of Virginia yet. Jill says we’re be at our destination at 6:41 pm. He says he’s not in a hurry to get there, that’s good since Jill wants us to never arrive. Mom and dad said they’re going to kiss when they cross the border. Me and Rachel saw them kiss when we came out of Taco Bell, but they don’t believe us. I spy something green… CORN!
It’s 1:58 pm now, and I asked Josiah to fix my hair, and so that is what’s happening right now. We are almost in Maryland. My parents have to kiss at every border and it’s really bothersome. I have pigtails. My mom says I look like Pippy Longstockings, but I don’t who that is. It’s doesn’t sound like a compliment. Either way, all that is outside is shh-corn. Chickens. I smell chickens, and they smell like Bebito pee. IN other words, really bad. There’s a big chicken factory to our left. Josiah and I have spontaneously decided to be silent for half hour. Think we can make it? Okay, let’s see! Bye!
Yeah, I’m kind of dreading having to see mom and dad make out directly in front of my face. Dad says it’s illegal to take pictures of horses… I never knew that… Imagine: Life in prison for unlawful equine photography. Rachel and I just took a picture with her cell phone and I’m super tan. It makes my teeth look whiter. Bleh, there are four miles left until we cross the border. Dad just asked us how Maryland got its name and Chris replied that it was named after “King Mary had a land”. I almost broke our silence pact because of how ridiculously funny that was. Rachel is texting because she can’t talk. Mom is telling her dream of old creepy men. So, Mom just said something about eel tongues and I think she’s slowly transforming into a she-hick, because I don’t understand her. Peter is playing his gameboy. I’m pretty sure what he needs is to get off of it and work on his social life. Chris is on a sugar-caffeine low and his hand is twitching… Dad just turned on Jill’s boyfriend, the Spanish man because the two main talkers are silent… Sigh. Only 17 minutes left of it. Mom is like the only one talking now, but Caleb is making strange noises while he plays the SP. 18 steeples so far. Mom is laughing with the Spanish tape and I think she’s wondering why me and Rachel aren’t. We just passed a food store named Pooomoke Plaza… Pooomoke Plaza? What kind of a name is that? This place is off the chart odd. Mom and dad are repeating “De donde es usted” over and over again while dad squeezes her leg. This redundant Spanish is kind of annoying us. It’s 2:23 pm and only 10 minutes left of our silence. Rachel is humming and burping. She’s making as much noise possible without talking. She just broke her vow by yelling out, “I have to pee!!” Chris is sleeping, he’s trying to convince dad that caffeine doesn’t affect him, but I don’t think dad is even noticing. The right side of my body is all sun burnt because I fell asleep on my left side when I was laying out with Rachel. We have three minutes left and then we can talk. Chris is saying “stop” randomly in his sleep, oh, he just dream-burped. Mom says that she’s a map person.
It’s 2:4 pm and we just got off another bathroom break. Josiah and Chris are taling forever, and we think that Josiah was brushing is teeth. They’re back out here now and we’re off again. Josiah says it took so long because the bathroom’s toilet seat was nasty and he had to put toilet paper down on it. Dad asked if the pieces stuck to his butt… Wow. Chris stole a piece of Josiah’s gum. They officially like the old spearmint gum the best now. We are passing a railroad. There’s corn in Virginia and trees in Maryland. Oh, no! Dad is talking about the “old days”. To get my dad to start talking, Josiah just fake laughed over him. He’s trying to make us believe that he thinks that everything dad says is funny.
This old lady in a car to our right just gave mom a mean look. Mom just finished reading us the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Great thing to know… Rachel is watching some movies on my camera that I took at camp. Mom is reading a romance blog to dad. Mom and dad just kissed twice because we came into Delaware- The garden state. Mom says that she has prejudice against New York and New Jersey. Dad says that there are a lot of homos in New England. Mom got sort of grossed out when he shed light on the subject. Eww! There’s a bunch of green much on all the grass to our right! “Yodermush, Yoderly”, says mom… Just for the record, she’s out of it.
Dad, Peter, Chris and Josiah are playing a geography game to see who knows the state capitals the best. I’m basically not playing because that only state capital that I know is Georgia’s- Atlanta. So far the teams are tied. I’m supposed to keep score. Peter and Dad are winning. Josiah doesn’t want to play. There is a duck-crossing sign right in front of us. “This game is lame!” Josiah sighs. I completely agree. Josiah states that the capital of Montana is “Hannah”. We just saw a hick-nobody-likes-you car. This game is stupid. I’m bored. I’m not even keeping score anymore. Sweet corn sale is to the right. There is a New York license plate on the car to our left. Chris just slapped Josiah’s sunburn. Jill now says that we’ll arrive at 7:04 pm. Meh. Okay, signing off for a while. It’s 5:56, and we’re still in the car. Jill now claims that we’ll arrive at 7:35. She just keeps pushing the time back! Caleb is peeing in a water bottle, and I’m ignoring it. It’s 5:58, and I’m thinking of Georgia. Caleb is having difficulties peeing in a water bottle…he’s too scared. I’m totally grossed out. 6:01-still he won’t go to the bathroom. Everybody started singing “There is a River” in hopes of making him hurry up. So we are basically in Pennsylvania. We’ve been in Pennsylvania for practically an hour now. Maybe more later. 6:25-Dad just compared mom to a watch that was turned in to a pawn shop. How strange. It’s about 8:45 pm. I’m at one of my relative’s houses, although I’m not exactly sure whose it is. I’m sitting on a bench outside, watching my brother and my cousin Michael catch fireflies. Josiah thinks that they should be called “firebutts” because that is pretty much what they are. The boys have caught so many already. They’ve put them in a little jar and the fireflies are all lighting up. Josiah is saying that we should make firebutt face paint. My aunt is talking about a bat that just flew by. I said that we should offer the fireflies as a peace offering to that bat. Josiah is continuously shaking the jar to kill them. Chris is picking firebutts from bushes and stuff. He is currently adding more to the collection. All the boys came over to help shake the poor bugs to death. I just told my uncle that the boys were shaking the bugs to death, and he asked why they don’t just squish them. So now all the firebutts are a glowing puddle on the cement. All my uncle had to say was “Oops. I didn’t know they’d actually do it.” Some random neighborhood people are shooting off little fireworks. The dogs around here are barking like most dogs do when they hear loud noises. Josiah was taking pictures of my relatives, and the flash went off. They all thought it was lightening or a firework or something. Mikey is half-walking, half-dancing around the lawn. I think the boys are about to light some firecrackers. Be back in a few.
We’re burning sparklers and killing firebutts with them. Rachel keeps drawing smoke hearts in the air, I wonder why… Michael, Chris, Peter, Caleb, Rachel and I caught like fifty firebutts and then some man told us we should crush them. So Caleb opened up the jar and I stomped on them. It was a beautiful death. Rachel and her relative are talking about chopping off fingers. Hmm…he’s showing us his half-knuckle. Peter keeps telling everybody the same story about knocking a hole in the ATC wall.
So, I just went inside so that I could go to the bathroom. One of the cats (that lives at whoever’s house this is) was in the hallway and wouldn’t let me get past it. It just kept hissing and running towards me. I went quickly outside and recruited the boys to scare it away from the hallway so I could use the bathroom. I finally got the cat away and used the bathroom very happily. Now I’m really tired and ready to go to a hotel. (I would say “the” hotel, but I don’t know yet which one we are going to.)
The boys are still upstairs chasing those two anti-social cats. One of the men outside warned them not to hurt the cats, but Rachel and I think the cats will probably hurt them. There are plenty of mosquitoes out there, that’s why Rachel and I are in this screened-in area. Rachel just got scared from some firecrackers that the boys set off.
Oh…my…gosh. Those just basically made my heart stop. We bought these fireworks forever ago and we’re finally using them.
I hope that these fireworks die. Oh…no. One of the fireworks was supposed to be set straight up, but then it fell over a little. So it basically shot off into a neighbor’s yard. The boys just went inside and ate some squid and lemon things. They are so ridiculous. It’s 11:00 pm sharp, and the car alarm is signaling it. Actually, one of the boys tried to get in the car… And of course that set the alarm off. My aunt is organizing the pictures for the slideshow tomorrow. She showed Michael a picture of granddad naked, and he made a mega awkward comment. Now most of the adults are gathered around the table, looking at his memorial pictures. Mikey is belching in a cup, and now he’s going to the bathroom, but he’s back. He’s putting a cup on his knee, trying to make that obnoxious noise. All the boys, besides Josiah, are watching something they recorded on Chris’s video camera. Caleb suction-cupped that cup to his elbow. Chris caught a video of one of the cats attacking Caleb. The other car we’ve nicknamed “hippocat” because he’s majorly fat. Uh. Mikey squished a grape on my shoe. Caleb is looking for him, but he’s whipping off my flip flop. My mom just found a picture of our couches. Before they were ours, they were my grandparent’s. They’re over twenty years old now. Josiah reaffirms what we’ve all been thinking by saying, “Let’s stop by IKEA to buy new couches!” I just touched some silk flowers behind me, only to find out that they’re not really silk… They’re real. Pretty! You might be curious as to what Josiah’s been up to. He’s typing all the stuff we’ve written on this trip. I can hear Peter talking inside to some people. He’s probably enjoying himself immensely. Josiah looks really upright and preppy, being on the computer and all. Okay, moving into the other room. In this room, everybody is telling stories. My grandfather was sitting on the toilet, reading the paper, and he threw his shoulder out. These stories are really funny. I think that we’re about to leave now.

Day 4

It is 11:04 am, and all the boys are just lying around watching TV. They are zombies. I think that Josiah is trying to recruit the boys to walk to the gas station. Maybe if they turned off the TV, they’d go! 11:21 am, and we just got back from the gas station. Dad bought two big boxes of donuts and a liter of milk for our healthy breakfast… Wow. Josiah bought a bag of beef jerky and I bought a bag of Ruffles. The boys are eating donuts and dancing. Michael always puts techno music on with his cell phone and dancing strangely. Josiah says that he kept them up all night with his repetitive partying. Now they’re watching TV again as they munch on the powdery-puff donuts. I’m eating cheese ruffles. My dad is telling me that my breakfast of chips is unhealthy… As he stuffs his face with chocolate and powder donuts. Nobody likes the chocolate ones, so he’s eating them all. What a nutritional meal… 11:41 am, Josiah is jumping on both of the beds… Now just one. He stopped. Everybody else is still zombified.
It’s 12:16 pm, and the boys are watching Chowder until mom comes back from the landry mat. I hope she comes back soon because me and Rachel are pretty much bored of noisy boxes. Michael kept me and Chris up until 2:00 am last night. When Peter fell asleep, they lathered shaving cream on his back and stuck some in his ear. It was dry when he woke up, so he didn’t notice. I told him what they had done, so he said he was going to tell mom but Chris said that he didn’t have any evidence. It’s too bad Peter doesn’t have a video camera like Chris so he can just take movies for proof. Michael wanted to stick his hand in warm water, but he decided to do that tonight instead. “Duuh”, sighs Rachel, extremely un-entertained by these infantile cartoons. Have I mentioned that it is exceptionally humid and that the effects of the humidity are clearly visible on Rachel's and my hair? But, it’s not bad here. The air blown down across the lush green woods of these picturesque Pennsylvanian mountains is so fresh. It was peaceful last night, sitting on the rocking chair in the covered porch at grandma’s house. I’m sure I could have fallen asleep if it weren’t for those obnoxious firecrackers. Well, we’re leaving to see the other cousins at the memorial service. Toodles!
Rachel is really mad at me because I’m not handling her special pictures the exact way that she likes… We were pretty much fighting in front of the whole family… We must look kind of petarted. Oh, now she’s frustrated with mom because she can’t fold the sped paper right. She says that she can’t READ PICTURES. Mom is in a good mood right now. Mr. Ron is sitting beside me, he must think me and Rachel are interesting. She took a lot of pictures of me today, it’s cool since nobody else ever does. She’s my personal documentary reporter. If my camera hadn’t run out of space, than I would take a million pictures as well. Dad says that he’ll take my to a video store so that I can get a cord for it. Rachel just gave an anxious laugh to Uncle Ron… She’s taking flashy pictures of random people again. Michael stole her purse. I wonder where he put our journal. Just a second, I’ll ask. Have I mentioned that Rachel is really good at harmonizing with me? If I did do sets, I would want to do some with her. Yeah, like I’m ever going to try out…
So, I’m sitting here in a Wesleyan Church place, and there are many white headed people staring at me and Rachel… Everybody’s wearing light blue, so I think I must have set the style color yesterday. I’m wondering how long we’re going to stay here. We just did the memorial service and pretty much everybody except for Chris, Rachel and I cried. It’s 4:00 pm and we all just finished our foodibles. People are still eating and digesting. This church is in a small town, which is packed with tourist attractions and driving signs. Dad is making fun of all the signs and telling jokes about to his sister. Oh! I see a defibrillator on the wall, I learned about those at the Firefighter’s first aid class last year. It’s 4:40 pm, and me and Rachel are still sitting here.
Now the time is 8:13 pm. The sky is getting darker, but that doesn’t keep the boys from playing. Now the cousins list has been added to. We have Justin, Michael, Peter, Chris, Caleb, Josiah, Janelle, Brooke, Katy, and I. All the kids (other than me and Josiah) are playing some sort of game outside. Josiah and I are in a little screened porch. We ate some dinner…which consisted of the leftovers from lunch. All the adults are congregating outside the little screened in area, just talking. I’m kind of tired, and I assume that Josiah also is, but I’d have to ask. Yep, he’s tired-just had to make sure. My head hurts because I’m so tired. I can’t figure out what exactly the kids are playing out there. It looks like a mixture between football and baseball and tag. But who knows? The scenery is really pretty here. There are mountains in view, and lots of trees. In the yard there is a little clothesline and all the kids are completely fascinated with it. I’ve taken so many pictures just in the past half hour. I need to add them to the computer again. Oh! Did I mention that we are at that person’s house again? Well, we are-and I still haven’t figured out whose house it is. Maybe I should find out eventually. There are three little kids here…one’s name is Katy, and the other two’s names are so far unknown. But they’re all blondes with either blue eyes or brown eyes, and really cute. I’m so tired…still! All the kids are hyper because the cake. Peter just pulled out his rip-stick. I bet he’s going to try and show off. Somebody needs Josiah’s help moving something I think. Or that’s what my dad said anyways. Mikey just tried out the rip-stick and immediately fell off. Peter is trying to get everybody’s attention by doing his rip-stick thing. Chris and Michael are messing with each other. Justin is watching everything that’s going on. Josiah is now telling me how he used to install satellites. It doesn’t make much sense, but sounds interesting. Half an hour ago, Josiah ate fish and squid. It smells really bad still. He just apologized because he’s reading what I’m writing. All the little kids are watching Peter rip-stick. Dad is doing something in the house, and just came out. I think that we’re doing fireworks tonight because it is-after all-the fourth of July. My dad just told me and Josiah that we are being hermits and need to come outside and socialize because we aren’t having good manners. But we’ve been hanging out with everybody all day, and I just started writing a few minutes ago. Oh! I just spotted the first firebutt of the night. It is right outside the screen, trying to get in. Katy just asked Peter what he was doing, and he said that he was riding a skateboard. Katy is only three or four, so she obviously has no idea what that is. There is a distant light blinking. I’m pretty sure that even if Josiah and I went outside to talk to the kids then they would just tell him that his breath stinks and shun him. That’s what they did earlier anyways…and the stink hasn’t gotten any better yet. I just smelled his breath, and it smells like a mixture of minty gum and salty squid-fishes. It’s not a very pleasant smell. The lawn to our left is really overgrown and is a horrible contrast to this lawn. Okay, we’re leaving to go to a fireworks show.
So, we parked in a friend’s backyard, which was cool since all the parking spots for miles were filled. Around and we only had to walk a few blocks. Where we parked, Rachel and I were taking pictures of flowers and we saw a cat. We called it over and named it Mr. Kitty. We played with it for a while and it would do stand-up tricks, but then Peter and Caleb scared it away. Peter had a football, and when I told him that the ball would scare Mr. Kitty away, he just replied that he didn’t just have one ball, he had three, and that he didn’t care if he scared the stupid cat away.
It’s 9:10 pm, and we have our things spread out on the field. The fireworks should start soon. Too bad fireworks freak me out.
Mom and dad are together, enjoying the cool Fourth of July air. Rachel is sad because everybody here is with their best friends and she misses hers… Dad just told me and Rachel to move our mats closer to the family so people wouldn’t think that we were anti-social… I moved them so that I could have the red one and she the blue. We laughed at how OCD we are. Well, the fireworks are starting. Yippee!

Day 5

Yeah, so last night was very colorful and loud. I took about 150 pictures of all the fireworks, and then deleted the bad ones. Some of them look like trees and flowers. There was a lot of traffic on the way out and I’m not quite sure if Jill helped us out of it very much. I’m in the car with Mom, dad, Rachel, Chris, Peter, Caleb, and Michael. Chris is mad because he stole MnMs from Rachel and then back sassed mom, so then he got a lecture from mom and dad. Rachel just offered him a MnM, but he said no because she just got him in trouble… I wonder if he really believes that it was her fault. People are interesting sometimes. We’re all a bit tired from staying at so many hotels, but we’re cheery thinking about what adventure lay ahead for today. Right now we’re going to grandma’s house again. We just arrived. Later!
It’s 1:45 pm, and we’re leaving that house for the last time. We had lunch there and it was a leftover-sandwich lunch. Chris said that he was tired of sandwiches in from of all of the senior adults, and it made me crack up that he would be so shamelessly picky. Besides eating, we played territory war for a while and then watched TV.
It’s now 2:18 pm, and while other people were asking dad a few random questions, Chris asked him for money- when he has time to give it… I just took a picture, and Josiah said I was in the way. He was just playing, though. We just passed a creek, and somebody to our right carves bears.
It’s 3:00 pm, and we’re still in the car. Chris is crying because he takes pleasure in making others miserable, but he’s not doing a good job because Josiah says that he’s having fun. Mom and Peter are playing a game. Dad bought everybody water, and I’m glad. Chris is now complaining that we all talk too much. We’re passing a little town and it’s nice. I see lots of mountains and corn. I smell pizza because Chris complained enough about having not eaten lunch, so dad bought him a few pieces. He took all the cheese and sauce off. We’re about an hour and a half away from wherever we’re going.
The time is now 6:40 pm, we stopped and went to see a few waterfalls. The trek up the waterfall was long, but so, so, so pretty!
It’s now 6:43 pm, and we’re driving along one of the Finger Lakes, named Lake Sinica. We walked up a nice trail at Watkins Glen. It took us about an hour to walk up it, but hiked with our cousins Janelle, Brooke, and Justin, so it was fun. On the way up, Caleb and Peter picked up a few little rusty bars and Uncle Eric told them to put them back because they could get tetanus by holding them,. I think he was serious. When we got to the top of the glen, we all sat down and rested. Then we walked down the other Indian trail towards the beginning, On the way down, our group consisted of Uncle Eric, his wife, Rachel, Justin, Caleb, Peter, Chris and I. At first we were walking along the forest edge, but then Uncle Eric told everybody but me to get down, so I figured he meant me too, then the kids had some small wigs in their hands, but apparently he didn't approve of that either because he took them and broke them on his knee.
It’s 6:55 pm, and we’re still driving along the lake. There are many grape orchards here, it’s definitely a lot cooler than corn. Rachel just showed me some random horses excitedly, but then mom beat her by seeing llamas. I’ve seen 35 steeples. Rachel’s obsessing over her cell phone now, considering she was away from it for a whole two hours. Dad called Monica and she just told us that Chris Rice is planning on proposing to Hannah tonight. Rachel has switched her attention from her phone to candy, she is now stuffing her face with gummy worms. Caleb is covering himself with a towel and has his hands in his mouth. Mom is looking at the scenery, and she just assured us that we’ll get to Uncle Eric’s house in about 30 minutes. There was something in her tone that makes me think she was trying to convince her self as well… Peter is playing his game boy and dad is still talking to random people on his phone. Everybody is talking about Nate Flock leading encounter service worship. Now mom is saying that its horrible that the county would put train tracks in front of a house. Chris just said “Blah, blah, blah” mocking Jill because she’s trying to help us make it to where we want to go. Dad says that we’re gong to go to Niagara Falls tomorrow. Were sleeping at Uncle Eric’s house tonight, and we just ordered pizza for dinner. Rachel and I ordered veggie pizza. Sounds good right about now. The only thing everybody except for Chris has eaten since we started this trip are leftovers from the memorial service yesterday. My digestive system was beginning to become intolerant to potato salad. Rachel and Sarah are busy taking pictures of themselves and sending them in texts to each other. Fun –insert sarcastic eye roll-. Chris is busy combing his hair with a large orange comb. I swear, every time I turn around, Chris pulls out a different colored comb from his front pocket. He’s in a bad mood again. Rachel says she has bad breath. Peter’s still playing his thing. I think we all just want to get there already. Jull says we’ll arrive at 7:40, but when we started driving she said we’d get there at 4:00. I sense deception.
We’ve only stopped once since the falls, because Uncle Eric would have gotten mad. Well, madder than usual. Consequently, by the time we got to Watkins Glen earlier today, Peter and Caleb were screaming that they had to use the bathroom.
The time is currently 9:15 pm. It’s getting darker here. If you didn’t know, we are in New York and staying at Brooke, Justin, and Jenelle’s house. The moon is out and all the kids are in the backyard pool. The adults are sitting around the fire, talking. I am writing because I didn’t want to get in the pool and get all wet. The kids are playing “chicken” in the pool. Peter is on top of Josiah, and Jenelle is on top of Brooke. Now Caleb is on top of Chris. So far, Caleb is falling off, and Peter is doing the pushing. Actually, everybody is ganging up on Caleb. Now Caleb fell off, so that leaves the other teams. Just twenty or so minutes ago, we ate smores. So I am extremely full. I’m really missing Georgia. We haven’t even been gone a full week yet, and Georgia sounds so inviting and warm. But I’m sure that as the saying goes, absence does make the heart grow fonder. I’m really cold, because as the sun set, it decided to take its warmth with it. So the air is colder than what I thought it would be, but that’s okay. I hope to adapt to all the different types of weather that we should be experiencing on our travels. Oh, no! Somebody is choking on water…never mind. No worries, they stopped choking. There are lots of pink and purple flowers in these pots on the porch. Below, I can see the embers flying in the air from the fire. The moon is a crescent shape tonight, which I didn’t really think about until now. I am on the verge of shaking from the cold air! I can’t see Caleb, he’s disappeared. All I can smell is chlorine, which is a smell that I enjoy anyways. Peter just complained that Brooke is peeing in the water. But I’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t do that. Now lots of the kids are coughing. I’m just hoping that they’re all not choking on water, or the water might evaporate sooner than we could have expected. Jenelle just went off the slide, Caleb is following head first. That looked painful! He just did a belly-flop. Jenelle is going again; let’s see what she does this time. Okay, she went backwards. Brooke also just went down, and now Peter is going. He just screamed like a chicken, and looked less than graceful. There is a moth hovering around my head, and it’s kind of annoying me. I think somebody just set off a firework even though it’s illegal. The reason for this theory is because I just saw a light go up in the air and then smoke…but strangely enough, there was no sound. I am guessing that nobody else saw; they’re all too busy. But no, I’m not busy. I am busying myself by doing this. The adults are talking about Brooke and Jenelle, and Brooke just asked, “What about me?” So the adults just laughed. I have no idea where Justin went. He’s not swimming with everybody else for some odd reason. Some sort of commotion is going on at the pool. Brooke is going to jump in the pool, and I don’t know why that was causing such a ruckus. Oh. She just did a flip. My hands are all cold and clammy…along with the rest of my body. That moth finally went away. Chris is telling dad that he has to pee, and thus he won’t get back into the pool. I understand. If I had to pee, I wouldn’t be handling the pool very well either. Josiah just put on Jenelle’s goggles and told nobody to look at him. Maybe he’s embarrassed? What? I hear fireworks going off nearby, although I cannot pinpoint the location. I wonder why the adults don’t hear it. What I need is a jacket. I’m sorry if I am giving such a boring account at the moment, but I figure that you might as well know everything that’s going on. And at the minute, nothing big is going on.

Day 6

It’s 9:35 am, and mom is trying to force me to talk to Brooke in Spanish. We just had breakfast. It was a big one that Uncle Eric prepared for us. He must have a special liking for breakfast. It’s sad to think that if they came to our house, Chris would scarf down all our Reese’s Puffs and all they’d be left with would be off brand corn cereal. Brooke is complaining that her siblings always “snitch” on her. Dad is trying to figure out what to do today, and what routes to take, which probably means we’ll be doing everything and going everywhere. I welcome the adventure. Rachel’s checking her mail on their computer. Chris is busy trying to impress Justin again. Special. I don’t think he realizes that Justing is laughing at him, not with him. Peter is playing Jenelle’s DS. He’s playing Guitar Hero on it and last night, he was playing it on the wii. You might be wondering why I take the time to describe what Peter is doing, since he’s clearly always doing the exact same thing, but I take pride in the thoroughness of my journaling.

It’s 10:09 am and once again we find ourselves in the car. I think that we should name our car. I asked Josiah what we should name it, but his head hurts so he opted out. I’m really tired; my dad woke me up by pulling my covers off. It’s quiet in the car... Unusually so. Of course, my parents talk whenever we’re too tired or sick to, “Because when you kids are so loud there’s no need to” my mom once said. She just reminded dad that we have to be back in South Carolina by next Sunday. Today is Sunday, but it feels nothing like it should. Josiah just asked if we are in Canada yet, but we still have two hours. Chris is watching something on his camera, and the noise sounds like a squealing little girl. More corn to our tight. So much corn!! I thought that New York was supposed to be un-hick, but it’s just as bad as the south. They have a little Town Hall here with a barn behind it. Josiah just said “moo”, and my dad said he’s turning into a cow Dad said Chris should do a video log of our trip. We’re stopping at a gas station, and the price for gas here is $4.49. Stopping now, but I’ll write more later. 1-:39 am and we just saw a groundhog cross the road. I’m surprised that my parents didn’t crack a joke. It’s now 12:05 pm, and we’re almost in Canada. We saw the mist from Niagara Falls in the distance. Hopefully, well be in Canada in less than five minutes. Wow! There’s still lots of mist coming from the falls. I’m definitely not going swimming upstream. We’re almost there… we have to show passports to the border police. Whoa… those rapids look threatening. They would kill you before you even got to the falls dad says. Ew.. there’s a wax museum to the right. There’s also plenty of traffic. Be back later.
It’s 5:43 pm and we have been in Canada all day. We got to see Niagara Falls and other similar sights. Now we’re back in the car, leaving Canada to get back into New York. We’re in a long car security line. Dad bought me a “Canada Eh!” shirt. It’s awesome, eh? We’ve been in the car, waiting in this line for quite some time now, but we’re almost done. Peter is making puking noises. My mom is complaining about how dirty her feet are. Josiah is talking to my mom about having to sleep at my cousin’s house last night. Here we are, leaving Canada. This policeman is interrogating us. He’s asking us lots of questions. And now we’re back in the USA! Josiah just hugged Chris and said, “I like you, Chris!” Chris just laughed. Josiah wants to take a picture of the comb Chris carries around. Josiah and I want to make a scrapbook. 5:56 pm and my head hurts. Josiah says he watches Hannah Montana. I gagged. Caleb is still alive! He just talked. 5:58 pm, and we’re still bored. I wonder what’s happening in Georgia. My mom just said that if she was a guy, she’d shave her head. Peter is trying to socialize with us front seaters, which of course means that we’re going deaf. Josiah just stole my pen and wrote on Chris’s “muscles”. Okay, more later.
It’s now 6:16 pm. Chris was being rude to Josiah, and so I handed my bubble hum to Josiah and he stuck it in Chris’s leg hair. Chris shrieked and painfully pulled it out. Josiah rolled his leg hair into knots and Chris is whining because it hurts. Josiah did it to Peter too and Peter isn’t even complaining. Such a contrast.
It’s night time already. Today went by very quickly. Of course, that happens usually when you’re not spending the entire day in the car. But we are in the car right now, believe it or not. It’s really dark because the time is 9:47 pm. I’m tired, and we ate at Outback Steakhouse. I ate an onion soup thing. The boys all had their own preferences and stuff. My dad bought a plug for the car when we were at Wal-Mart. The plug charges laptops and then you can plug in an actual plug…so in my case, my cell phone. It still smells like food in here…in more than one way. Jill hasn’t been too helpful today; she hardly has said a word all day long. I think she’s malfunctioning or something. No! Somebody’s stomach didn’t agree with their meal, and the smell is horrific. We rolled down the windows. I think that Josiah was the culprit, because he’s cracking up. He says that methane gas affects him, and wonders if his pupils are dilating. Peter admits that he was the one. I would write what the outside world looks like, but I can hardly see it. There is no moon to see, and there is no light to see anything otherwise. Josiah is talking about his camp friends. “When you fart, just tell the truth, and they’ll believe you.” Josiah says that one of his camp friend claimed. I believe it. Chris was just stroking Josiah’s hair “because it’s soft”. My mom says that boys stroke girl hair, not guy hair. “It’s not socially acceptable in public!” she exclaims through laughs. Chris says, “She’s exotic, no wonder dad married her!” My, my, my! We have quite a conversation going on here. I just told my dad that I wrote down this whole conversation line, and he just laughed saying, “That’s what you get-growing up with boys!” My dad says that there are “real fireworks” ahead of us on the horizon. Only… he said “Verizon”, not “horizon”. I think he must be either tired…or confused. Chris is trying to be funny, by mocking my dad. My mom just pointed out that we haven’t sung any car-trip songs yet. I’m glad that my dad dropped that topic…quickly. Chris and Josiah are stroking my mom’s hair now-just to annoy her. “Josiah’s furry head is in the way!” Peter shouts (as he always does when we’re in the car.). Another roll-down window moment has arisen. Josiah helped with that one, and he admitted it so that we’d believe him. Right now, I’d be downloading my camera pictures onto this laptop, but my camera is…nowhere to be found. Oh...my…gosh. There was an eighteen-wheeler that caught on fire out here on the freeway. They disconnected the trailer, so that the goods wouldn’t get ruined. But that whole thing was on fire! It’s really obvious when things are on fire at night time…because fire is…never mind. I could have gotten a picture, but my camera (as I pointed out ten seconds ago) is lost for the moment. The boys are stroking my hair because mom made them stop on her. Gag! Can’t breathe! Roll down the windows! Please! Three hundred miles until we get to where we’re staying. That’s what Jill says, but I’ve learned not to trust her. You can’t trust somebody with metal for a brain.

Day 7

Good morning! Its 11:21 in the morning, and we are all packed into the car again. I think that we are going to New Hampshire, but you never know with this family. Josiah is listening to his iPod to my right, and to my left is Chris just frowning. Dad is messing with Jill, trying to get her to work properly. We are still in New York, because we just took off from our hotel. I just checked to see what song Josiah is listening to, and it’s “I Can Only Imagine” by Rita Springer. There is corn to our left. You’d think that after being in New York so long, that the corn would not increase, but decrease. Unfortunately, this is not a true statement. Everything outside is pretty green, and Chris matches it. His shirt is green today…so is Josiah’s. Lots of mountains outside, and that’s pretty much the highlight of the outside scenery. The inside scenery is tan leather, food on the ground, a person here, a person there, a camera, an iPod, and a very unhappy Jill. Dad just started to slowly go off the road-his mind being distracted by Jill- and the shoulder warnings got him back on track. Caleb says that he doesn’t like that noise. There is a huge billboard off to my right that says it can be rented. I wish that there was something of interest to you that I could write, but honestly, nothing comes to mind. Oh! I can tell you what all I did before we got into the car. Okay, so I woke up this morning because my dad opened the window blinds up to let the light in. He usually either does this, or pulls my covers off to wake me up. So, that woke me up really quickly. Then he started asking me if I wanted donuts for breakfast. I grunted a “no thank you”, and sat up. He asked me what is wrong with donuts, and I told him that they are gross. He just laughed and asked if the boys would want them. I shrugged and rolled back onto the bed. He went out of the room, and it was then that I heard the shower running. My mom had already gotten into the shower, and I was all alone in the room. So, I tried to go back to sleep, but that wasn’t going to happen. My mom got out of the shower, and I sat up because my dad walked into the room. He was carrying a half of a muffin and a pop tart. I didn’t see the muffin, and so I contented myself on the pop tart. After my breakfast, I hurried myself into the bathroom so I could take a shower. We only had about twenty minutes until we had to leave. I took a fast shower, and then got dressed. My hair was going crazy, so I blow-dried it. We had about two minutes left, so I just packed all my stuff and walked out the door. It sort of reminded me of my whole camping experience, because the showers there were gross too. Then we got in the car…and here I am now. Peter and Caleb are already playing their gameboys. That shows you the life they lead. There is a “state police” car that just passed us. It’s really quiet in this car, because Josiah and I usually lead the conversations, but since he is listening to his iPod-there really is no conversation. Lots of cliffs to our right, and the rocks are a blackish color. Seeing dirt or rocks around here is really strange, because in Georgia, all the “mud” or “dirt” is red clay. I just asked dad where we are going, and he said that we are headed towards Vermont. I told you that Jill lies. Dad is randomly talking about blueberries, and I’m trying to figure out where he derived this conversation line from. Ah! These pants are really large on me. I need a belt. Josiah just looked out the window and says that he saw a groundhog. Lots of barns and houses to my right; lots of nothing to my left. My dad just asked the boys what time they woke up this morning; Josiah told him that it was about 9:15.
Now the time is 3:06 on. My family stopped by a monument for about an hour. It think dad blew a fuse on the car’s new laptop plug because I can’t use the laptop anymore. Thus, I am forced by default to use pen and paper. Caleb just bartered a Riesen off Peter. If the world were full of people like Chris and my younger brothers, I think our currency wouldn’t be paper but candy. Chris keeps telling Josiah and Peter that they owe him a dollar. Josiah and I have relocated into the backseat because Chris is being overwhelmingly annoying. So now Peter is in the front and Caleb is sandwiched between us in the back. Chris claims that we’re all being annoying right now. Caleb was having his fingers perform a puppet show for Peter. I just drew faces on his fingers. Oh! A beautiful creek to our right. People were renting out boats. Headache much. More possibly later.
Yeah, so it’s late and a lot has happened since Rachel last wrote. She couldn’t keep on because the power converter blew a fuse even though we had just bought it a day before. We’ll just take it back as soon as we can. As for what happened, we’re here at nana’s house, about to go to sleep. Me and Peter built a couple of fortresses with little army men. I think we were reenacting some battle. Then we took it all down and put it away because we had to lay down sleeping bags.

Day 8

Hey! It’s 6:08 pm. on day number eight. It pretty much seems like an eternity since we were last home. I miss my friends, although not all of them are home. We are all at my grandparent’s house in Massachusetts. Today we have already gone to their little beach-ish place that is in walking distance from their house. The boys were watching TV
for most of the day before that. We are going to eat dinner soon, fortunately for us. My nana just made me get up and fold all my brothers’ socks and underwear. It was really unpleasant, but at least it is over. I don’t mind doing my own laundry, but my brothers’ stuff is nasty. Chris just came and sat down next to me, and dad, Caleb, Josiah, and papa are now in this room. Mom just called us to come and eat. Hopefully I’ll write more later.
Wow, let’s just say I had the worst sleep in my entire life last night. There are multiple reasons for this, so I won’t even try to write them all down. I went swimming today at the Chauncy Lake and it was pretty much amazing. I love lakes and lake beaches. There was a raft farther out that I sat on for a while, gazing at the beautiful surroundings. I had sandwiches for lunch with Portuguese bread. I’d never had that kind of bread before, so that was cool. Chris enjoyed nana’s many sodas. The kids watched Skunk Fu and Chowder for while before going back to the beach and net catching fish. They found out a convenient way of baiting them. They searched for clams, and then pried them open, taking the meat out and feeding the fish. Then they had to stop because nana made spaghetti. The kids and I ate outside and the older ones ate at the dining room table. I just watched the end of the Bridge of Terebithia, but I don’t hink I’ll need to watch the whole thing. I just don’t really see the point, especially since mom told me everything that happened. Then I was flipping through channels and I stopped on Patriot for a little bit to see what part of the movie was one and, just my luck, it was just starting. Rachel was overjoyed that it was on so she stopped doing her picture stuff and started watching her “favorite movie”. I wonder how many favorite movies she has. Anyways, let’s just say, that was the last thing we watched for the day. Possibly because it’s 4 HOURS LONG.

Day 9

Well, it’s 8:55 am, and we’re about to leave in about half an hour. Rachel’s taking her first shower in four days, fortunately. She was going to just wash her hair, but I told her that she’d feel much better after a nice cool shower. I’ve had fun here, but I’m also glad to leave. It will be awesome to finally see the NYC skyline and take pictures of the Statue of Liberty. The bell clock just rung and it’s nine o’clock. Nana has a bird clock that makes bird noises every hour, and sometimes it freaks mom out because she thinks that there are wild birds in the house. Peter was just here, watching me type. It annoys me when people watch me type… Rachel is blow drying her hair. Caleb is sitting down on the couch, gazing at the TV longingly. Dad told him not to turn it on today, so I think he’s imagining all the great cartoons that could be on. Nana just asked him if he knows how to pack a car now that he’s been with dad for two weeks. Dad is super organized when it comes to packing a car, but I don’t think anybody has learned anything from it except for mom. I think she wants to learn how so she can impress him. Nana is talking to Peter and Caleb now. Peter says his favorite thing to do is play gameboy. I can’t say I don’t believe him. Just look through this journal, the only Peter is ever doing is playing game boy. Nana is giving Caleb self-defense lessons on how to protect himself against his mean older brothers. She says you have to pick a skunk up by its tail and cover it’s face so that it won’t bite you. I wonder if that would work on Caleb. Rachel is still blow drying her hair. She wants to straighten it. So, nana has a bunch of paintings on the walls and I have a few favorites. One of them is a beach picture of a boat tied to a pole. I don’t know why, but it’s just cool. Sometimes I’ll just like a painting for some reason. Nana’s mom painted all of them. I had coffee this morning. Nana and papa brewed some Starbucks stuff, and I had the last cup. Yay. It made me happy. So, now nana, papa, mom, Caleb, Peter, and I are all in here. They’re talking about random creatures like possums and raccoons. Chris just came in. He’s wearing big honking black shoes with Bermuda shorts. Should I tell him that they don’t go? Nah, I don’t think he would appreciate my experienced suggestions. Rachel, Chris, Caleb and Dad were all in the bathroom just now at the same time. That’s intense. I suppose that’s what happens when they wait until the last minute. Rachel just came to sit with me. I think she wants to do some more picture stuff… All right, bye.
Good morning. The time is now 9:30 am. We’ve just left my grandparent’s house. Last night was the second worst sleep of my entire life. A skink sprayed right outside our window, so we shut all the windows. At least we weren’t all wet and soaked with dew like the night before. So anyways, that was one of our sleeping experiences. It must have been even worse for my brothers, who all slept on the floor. Jill is leading us into New York City. Dad wants us all to see the Statue of Liberty and stuff. My dad also says that well see the Statue of Balto- that famous dog. Jull says that our arrival time is 1:02 pm. Josiah is talking to Chris about his favorite terrain. The topic is kind of random, but it keeps Chris’s mind stimulated. Unfortunately, there is nothing fantastic to se out the windows yet. Mom and dad are talking about Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts. This road is very lumpy! Chris is meowing as he listens to Josiah’s description of his favorite terrain. The reason you don’t hear much about Peter and Caleb is because they’re just playing their gameboys in the back. Chris is complaining that he is tired. Josiah is telling him that he needs to take pictures with his relatively new video camera. We just passed Lake Quinsigamont. I had to get my parents to spell that one out. Because we just passed that lake, the boys are talking about fishing. My head hurts again, but I will press on. Oh! Already, Jill has added five minutes to our arrival time. So cruel. My mom is “singing” “La la la la la…” It is 9:0 am, and we’re stopping for gas already. We’re discussing the price of gas. We all think that it will be at least seven dollars a gallon by the time Chris gets his car. I think that Ill text Sarah until something interesting arises for me to write about.
The time is 11:21 am now. We are at the rest stop, going to the bathroom and drinking water. Josiah grabbed a Connecticut brochure for our scrapbook. Dad is reprogramming Jill again. She-for sure- has many medical conditions. Josiah and Chris have been playing something on Josiah’s iPod for a very long time now. Josiah is opera singing “Hallelujah”. I’m kind of sad because Josiah hardly writes anything in the car do to headaches and nausea. “Owned! Owned Twenty thousand points in one turn! I’m owning you! Owned!” Josiah laughs at Chris. Josiah just stuck an earphone in my ear and there is a string orchestra plating! Oh! I love it! I’m really tired because I woke up at eight this morning. Chris is freaking out because he says Josiah’s armpits are sweaty. Now Josiah has pulled the earphone out of my ear, and he handed the iPod to Peter, who apparently has grown bored of the gameboy after a whole week of staring at it. Now Josiah is checking out the game boy. My mom is talking about Lady Liberty. We just passed a whole parking lot filled with buses. Dad says that we’re close to the ocean. I forgot that there is an ocean here. OK. More later on.
So, today Chris and I almost suffered a tragedy. Our bladders were on the verge of exploding because dad couldn’t find bathrooms anywhere in NYC. Finally, when we got to the boat terminal, and after he drove the car most outrageously over an old, bumpy brick road, we were relieved. He should have a degree in Technical Torturing. He enjoyed it so much that he kept pointing out that there was a river nearby and that we’d be fine; he even helped us envision the running water. The station was cool- there was a sand sculpture in it with tape surrounding it so that kids wouldn’t kick it over. When we succeeded in getting the boat tickets, we boarded and enjoyed the NYC scenery that was especially beautiful viewed off the poop deck of our small ship named freedom. Our first stop was an Island that was used hundreds of years ago to document immigrants coming from Europe and Africa.
We’re now on Ellis Island and we just got to watch a cool play about a man who immigrated from Romania and entered Louisiana illegally because he wanted to pursue and acting career. He struggled to become an America citizen and traveled to NYC to go through the Ellis Island immigrant procedure. Eventually, after he became a citizen, he accomplished his dream of being an actor and played as the star of the movie Count Dracula. Rachel and I wanted to watch the actual movie after we saw this play. Then, we walked around the first floor of the immigration building looking at the statistics of all the kinds of people that came to America. The upper floors were filled with rooms that contained information on how the secretaries, politicians and doctors filtered the people that wanted to enter the states. After finishing at Ellis Island, we got on another ship. Rachel got dad to buy her a giant pretzel. We had a good view of the George Washington bride while we were on our way to the island with the Statue of Liberty sticking out of it. When we got to it, we said good buy to our second ship. We walked around Lady Liberty and saw a lot of Jellyfish washing up around the large marble stones in the bay. Dad spotted the marble slabs that washed up, and stated that they were probably the result of a hurricane New York experienced a while back. We looked through telescopes, and got a good view of the city. On our way back to find a hotel we looked back on our extremely long day and treated our wounds. Leaving Nannas house at 9:30, it had been nine and a half hours of sightseeing. Rachel says she’s hungry and wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner. Yuck, I think that’s just plain nasty.
We’re in the hotel now. The rooms are big and comfortable after staying in less spacious ones. We just ate pizza and the kids are watching a cartoon called Total Drama Island. It’s Caleb’s favorite. They all really love it even though it’s super random. It just showed a major barf breakout and Caleb practically peed his pants from laughing so hard.

That’s all Rachel and I wrote of our trip, but it was far from over at the end of day 10. Day 11 held a trek through Manhattan and Central Park, and on our way back to South Carolina we had many adventures in Pennsylvania. Dad bought me a red shirt with from Philadelphia. We eventually dropped Rachel off at Camp David, where she got so sick that she barfed in the car all over my pillow, and made our way back home through a densely pouring rain. That same night Chris and I signed in at our own Encountering God Camp. That was the end of our long vacation experience.